Chapter 1 of 2 (aka the short one)
"Goten! Get your butt down here this instant or you'll go hungry!" the everloving Chi-Chi shouts. It's been a very long day, and she's not about to put up with the absense of her least favorite child. As usual, her loyal, loving husband Goku is nowhere to be found, and Gohan is at Videl's having dinner with her and her father. After sitting in silence for a few moments, she shouts again. However, yet again there are no sounds of scampering through the hallways of the house.
Slamming her fist on the table, Chi-Chi jumps to her feet and storms up to Goten's room. "You better be dead in here, or so help me I'll make it so!" she shouts as she bursts through the door. She sighs loudly as she finds the room completely abandoned, the window ajar as if someone had escaped from a prison. Chi-Chi plops down on Goten's bed and rests her head in her hands. "Why is my family so disfunctional? Why Kami, why?" she states, nearly breaking into tears.
Returning to her dining room, she heads to the fridge and grabs a bottle of vodka. She then drags her feet back to the table and resigns to poking at her food, finding the idea of eating rather unappitizing. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and looks over her dinner table, finding yet another meal gone to waste. Chi-Chi lights one up and takes a deep drag, then decides to just clean up and begins the long process of hand washing the dishes. The booze helps with the depression. She then heads to bed, elephant skin and all.
(In case it needs to be said, being married to a "superhero" and being mother to multiple "superheroes" provides Chi-Chi with a very stressful life. The constant worrying if her sons and husband will even be alive tomorrow has led her to the bottle; she's taken up smoking as a stress reliever. Basically, this all takes place off-camera, which is where Chi-Chi was for most of DBZ....)
The next morning, she crawls out of bed, bathes, and gets dressed. She then heads to Goten's room, but it looks like he never even came home. She closes the door softly and heads to the family room, where she grabs her purse and heads out the door. Jumping in her only-exists-for-this-storyline Capsule Car, Chi-Chi heads to the store to buy ingredients for yet another meal that will probably go to waste.
When she arrives home, Chi-Chi finds a message on her answering machine. She clicks play as she unpacks the groceries.
"Good lord Chi-Chi, where are you?!?" a familiar voice basically shouts.
"What does Buruma want now. Her life's so damn perfect, why does she need to bother me?" Chi-Chi states, rather annoyed.
"It's Trunks and Goten.... They're....they've gone missing! Goten came over here last night and stayed over, but they were gone this morning!" the message continues.
This latest bit has caught Chi-Chi's attention. She grabs the nearest liquor bottle, her eyes wide with worry.
"Someone kidnapped them Chi-Chi! They left a note saying they want Capsule Corp to shut down, or else they'll kill them!" Buruma says, nearly in tears. "Is Goku around? I'd just have Vegita save them, but he's off training or something. Can Goku save them?!? Call me back, hurry!" she finishes.
A beep indicates the end of the message, but Chi-Chi continues to stare into space, waiting for more. After a few seconds of silence, she drops the bottle of wisky and races to the phone. She manages to dial Buruma's number, though it's not really known how; her fingers are all over the place.
"Chi-Chi?" Buruma answers, obviously upset. Chi-Chi nods yes, but can't seem to speak. "Hello? Is anyone there?" Buruma asks.
"Yes, it's me," Chi-Chi rasps, still wide-eyed. "And no, Goku is not around."
"Oh god, what do we do Chi-Chi?!? Do we call the cops?!? Who knows what they're doing to my poor little Trunks right now!"
With this statement, Chi-Chi snaps out of her daze. She comes to the realization that they don't need Goku, or Vegita, or the police. Chi-Chi was a great warrior in her day, and so help her, she was going to be a hero once again. "Don't worry Buruma, I'm on the job," she states. "I'll be over to your place in a few minutes. These idiots better hope Goten and Trunks get free on their own. They don't want to know my wrath."
Buruma stares out the window with a perplexed look on her face as Chi-Chi hangs up. "Chi-Chi is going to rescue them?"
Chapter 2 of 2 (aka the long one)
A loud knocking at the door causes Buruma to jump out of her chair. Rushing to find out who it is, she flings the door wide open. Standing in the doorway is Chi-Chi, decked out in weaponry. "Let me see the note," she demands as she pushes past a rather shocked Buruma. Finding it lying on the table, Chi-Chi nabs it and reads over it. If you want to see your children alive again, you will shut down Capsule Corporation and transfer 1,000,000 zeni into the following account: 45698235684. You have 72 hours to comply, or we shall dismember your loved ones.
"I thought they only wanted you to shut down CC," Chi-Chi tells Buruma, wondering why she left the last part out earlier.
"Well, the money part really isn't that big of a deal. Vegita can just make it back by winning a Budokai or something," Buruma replies.
"Did you check out who owns that account?"
"Yeah, the bank manager was a grade school friend. He gave me this name, but it's in Russian.... Лиловый Капитан. You wouldn't happen to speak it, would you?"
"Um, no," Chi-Chi replies as she picks up the paper to take another look. As she picks it up, she notices a slight hologram effect ripple across the front of the page. She hmmms to herself as she begins to rotate the page around so the light hits it at different angles. "Aha!" she shouts as she finds the right angle. A very familiar symbol appears before the two women: a red ribbon featuring two R's.
"The Red Ribbon Army?" Buruma asks. "Didn't Goku wipe them out like 20 years ago?"
"Yes, but it would seem like they're back. And who better to hit than their former rivals, the Capsule Corporation? Any idea where they might have their headquarters?"
"No, but I know someone who might," Buruma replies as she grabs the phone. She dials a few numbers and listens to it ring a few times. "18? Hey, it's Buruma. Yeah. Look, I need to know where the Red Ribbon Army would keep it's headquarters. Why? Does it really matter? I'm in kind of a hurry here! Wiped out? Yeah, Goku shut them down ages ago. Huh? Crimson Lords, Hageshii Saegi, and Mentally Deranged? Never heard of them.... You're kidding, right? Well, where are they then? Okay, thanks."
"Well?" Chi-Chi asks impatiently.
"Apparently this isn't the first time they've tried to regroup. A few years ago they actually managed to refill just about their entire legion. Did you know that?"
"No, not that I really even care. Does 18 know where they are?"
"She said a few teams formed and tried to shut the army down, but didn't quite finish the task before the group went underground again. She said their base was hidden, and the only person who found it was Brolli. Any idea who that is?" Buruma asks. She turns around to face Chi-Chi, but finds her missing. A loud slamming of the front door signals Chi-Chi's departure.
Now outside, Chi-Chi secures her guns and takes to the air. "Screw the hover car," she tells herself. Quickly accelerating to her top speed, she makes her way to Roshi's Island. While she doesn't know who this Brolli character is, nor where he may be, she does have a hunch that a certain 3-eyed warrior may.
A few hours later she touches down on the sandy beach. "Tien!?! Tenshinhan!?!" she shouts, hoping he's somewhere on the island and not in some remote part of the world, training with his little butt-buddy Chaozu. Not finding him outside the Kame House, she bursts through the door. Sure enough, there he is, lying on the couch with none other than the greatest love of his life. No, not Lunch; she's a psychopath. Not the type of girl any guy should be stuck with. Well, maybe Justin Timberlake. No, I'm talking about Shakira.
"Tien! Didn't you hear me calling for you?!?" Chi-Chi shouts, stomping around like a mad ape.
"Oh, hello Chi-Chi. No, I don't know where Goku or Gohan are. Try asking Kuririn, or maybe Videl. Now can you please be quiet, we're trying to watch Lupin here," Tenshinhan replies, this obviously not being the first time Chi-Chi has interrupted his TV viewing.
His uncaring reply sends Chi-Chi over the edge. An energy bolt errupts from seemingly nowhere and completely destroys the television.
"What the hell? Since when can you manipulate your ki?" Tenshinhan asks, suddenly finding himself more scared of Chi-Chi than ever before.
"Who's Brolli? And where can I find him?" Chi-Chi asks in a demanding tone.
Just hearing the evil Saiya-jin's name sends Tenshinhan down nightmare lane, filling his thoughts will anger towards that asshole's betrayal in the Hildegarn fight of yore. Tien suddenly feels the need to hit something, so he picks up the TV remote and throws it at Oolong, who just happened to be walking by the window.
"Hello? Did you hear me? Who is Brolli?!?" Chi-Chi reiterates.
"He's the single most evil son-of-a-bitch I've ever known. I haven't seen him in years, but if I run into him again, I'm gonna send him to Hell. Why do you care anyway?"
"He knows where the Red Ribbon Army's headquarters is... was."
"What, is that group of idiots back? Did Goku somehow manage to convince you to do recon? And whats with all the guns?"
Chi-Chi pulls the bazooka off her back and aims it down Tenshinhan's throat. "Brolli. Tell me where he might be. Now!"
"Okay, okay, okay! Just put the missile launcher down! Last time I saw him he was running around beating up school kids and stealing their zeni. I would have stopped him then, but he was just too powerful! I don't know what you think you'll be able to do to get him to tell you anything, but I'd look around Orange Star High School."
Without another word Chi-Chi exits and takes back the air. "Orange Star, eh? Gohan's old school? Rather odd."
Meanwhile, somewhere on the campus Brolli is still "searching for zeni" as he has been for about 1300 days, give or take 50. You'd think by now he'd be a rich mofo, but Majin Buu apparently increased the cost of membership in the Crimson Lords, leaving Brolli with a mere 150 zeni to live off of. Mumbling under his breath, he continues stealing lunch money when he feels a slight tingle in the back of his brain. "Hmmm, someone is approaching. Someone's.... flying," he states, dropping the now empty wallet of some poor school boy and squinting slightly.
Moments later Chi-Chi touches down and pulls out her mock-uzi. Watching her intenty, Brolli can't help but laugh out loud when he sees her pull out a gun. Hearing his laughter, Chi-Chi spins around and take aim.
"Are you Brolli?" He doesn't reply. "Tell me now, or I will shoot you! Are you Brolli?!?"
"Go ahead and shoot," he states, completely unafraid.
"Fine, you're not scared of a gun. But what about a bazooka?!?" she shouts, whipping her "big gun" out. Brolli smirks, trying to hold back even more laughter.
"I warned you!" she shouts, pulling the trigger. An explosion rocks the front lawn of the school, shattering many of the building's windows. "Good job Chi-Chi. You just killed the one person who might have been able to help you," she tells herself.
As the smoke clears, Brolli is seen again with not a single scratch or bruise on him. He begins to laugh at the pitiful human once again as she stares wide-eyed. "Yes, stupid human woman, I am Brolli," he states as he regains his composure. "Why do you care?"
"I was told you might know where the Red Ribbon Army's base is."
"Ha! That pitiful excuse for a militia? Man that was a joke, as was their "ultimate" monster."
"So, you do know. Will you tell me where I can find their base?"
"Huh? Why... Why would you even consider the idea that I would give you that information? I find the idea of splatering your guts all over this pavement more interesting than a conversation."
Chi-Chi sighs, realizing she'll have to tame this super-sized male ego with her feminine wiles. She tosses her guns to the ground and diggs into her training for her true weapons. "Are you sure I can't convince you to share this info with me?" she asks, slowly and sexily walking behind a large tree while gently sliding a part of her clothing off. Brolli is stunned; stunned speechless in fact. He stands there, mouth agape like the Genie in one of the final scenes of Disney's Aladdin. You know, the scene where Jasmine pretends she's under a Jafar's love wish. Yeah, kinda like that. Complete shock and what-not.
Anyway. Brolli comes to his senses and follows her around the tree, and because he's a guy, spills all the info for even the remote posibility of getting some; even with Chi-Chi, the wife of his hated crib-mate. And no, in case you're wondering, he doesn't get any. After he reveals the location, Chi-Chi simply kicks him in the nads. Hard. Brolli, with all his 11 million PL might, folds like tissue paper. Unable to even breathe, he continues spasming on the ground as Chi-Chi takes off, flying towards the location she was given. Gonads and strife, gonads and strife! Weeeeeeeeeeee!
As the base comes over the horizon, Chi-Chi's spirits are high. However, they are brought crumbling down as she grows closer. The entire base lies in ruin. It seems that this was the location of their last base. However, it also seems like Brolli didn't leave anything to find. Chi-Chi lands outside the rubble and falls to her knees in defeat. "Why Kami, why?!?" she screams, tears now running from her eyes.
A few hours later she barely makes it through her front door, a bottle of Jack in one hand. She flips the lightswitch and stumbles towards the couch, passing out onto it face-first.
"Mom, Is that you?" a voice asks. "Mom?" Goten approaches the couch and finds his mother quite unconscious, her bottle of Jack lying on its side. Goten sighs and picks up the bottle, cleaning up the spill as if this was just routine.
"Was it your mom?" Trunks asks as Goten re-enters the bedroom.
"Yeah, but she's drunk again. Passed out on the couch."
"That sucks. But man, those idiots didn't know what hit them did they? Did you see the look on their faces when we broke free of their ropes? That was freaking cool!" Trunks replies.
"Heh, yeah. But who were they? And how did they know your parents own Capsule Corp?"
"Hell if I know, but we kicked their butts! They won't try that again! Especially that guy with the stupid mustache and goggles. What a loser!"
Goten pulls an XBox out from under his bed plugs in Halo 2. He and Trunks play it until the wee hours of the morning. Needless to say, Chi-Chi was both pissed off and relieved when she found her son safe and sound in his bed the next morning. She just hopes she never runs into that Brolli guy again. Lord knows he'll wear a cup for the rest of his life now....
Rewards:
Chi-Chi gains 150 PL and kickboxing lessons, which does nothing game-wise.
Brolli gains an ice pack to help soothe the pain.