To battle, e-mail me. If you beat your opponent in battle, you can steal zeni, items, and/or one dragonball if you are evil. If you are neutral, you can also take these things, but you will get less. If you are good, you can only take a dragonball.

94) Tares and Brolli vs. Bill Gates: Boss Battle
"In the matter of the People vs. William H. Gates the third, the court finds you guilty of sixteen counts of tax fraud, twenty four counts of possession of illegal goods, and two counts of of murder in the first degree. Do you have anything you'd like to say before I pass your sentence?" a Namek judge tells Bill. Lost in thought, Gates completely ignores him. He thinks back to how he got where he is right now and just how the hell there's a court room on Planet Namek. I mean there isn't a democratic government on the planet. Which would mean that there isn't a judicial system, right? Gates thought hard on this fact, wondering just what was going on.

"Mr. Gates? I would appreciate it if you would pay attention," the judge tells him, rather annoyed. Bill blinks and shakes his head slightly, snapping back to reality. "Sorry, your honor. I must have spaced out. No, I don't have anything to say," Gates replies. "So be it. William H. Gates the third, for the sixteen counts of tax fraud, the court hereby sentences you to two years imprisonment. For the twenty four counts of possession, the court hereby sentences you to two years imprisonment. For the two counts of murder in the first degree, the court hereby sentences you to two consecutive life terms with no possibility of parole," the judge states, slamming his gavel a few times.

A couple of uniformed Namek-jins grabs Gates by the arms and walk him through a door on the side of the room. Leading him through the hallways, Bill asks if he can make his phone call. Sighing, they walk him to the phone. After unlocking it, one of them punches in whatever number he gave them and leaves the room, locking the door behind him. Gates presses down on the receiver, hanging up the phone. Releasing it, he begins to push it rapidly, using it to dial a different number. After ringing a few times, someone picks up. "Sssspeak," a raspy male voice asks. "Are you prepared for the invasion?" Gates asks. "Yessss," the voice replies. "Excellent. You've already proven yourself as a much more useful partner than those idiots Barney and Justin. I'll meet up with you on Earth once I break out of this silly place," Gates says, hanging up the phone. "Guards, I'm finished," Bill shouts.

After relocking the phone, the guards lead Gates to a holding cell. "Have a good time with Bubba," one of the guards says, a small grin on his face. The Nameks lock Gates in the cell and leave the room. "Well, well, well. Aren't you a cute one," a large, fat man tells Bill. Gates shakes his head slightly, then breaks Bubba's neck with a single backhand. "Stupid fucking people and their stupid fucking laws," Gates says, raising an arm and pointing his hand at the wall. A bright golden light fills the room, followed by a loud boom as Gates creates a massive hole in the wall. Walking out of the cell, he takes to the sky and heads towards where he stashed the Namekballs.

Elsewhere on the large boring planet, Tares and Brolli are currently relaxing in a Motel 11. Flipping through the very limited number of television channels, Tares stops on a news break. "Dude, that idiot Gates broke out of prison. You want to go kick his ass?" Tares asks Brolli. The Saiya-jin just smirks an evil grin. Jumping out of his seat, Tares throws the remote at the TV, effectively turning it off. And their off, their sole goal in life is to kill Bill Gates. Everyone cheer. Yay.

Anyway, eventually Tares, Brolli, and Gates meet up. Where? Hell if I know. Everything on Namek looks the same so it's nearly impossible to tell. All I know is that Gates found a large cave to store the Namekballs in while he searched for the other balls. That's probably where they met up, seeing as how that's where Gates was heading. Blah. Maybe I should just move on to the mindless fighting that is DBZ. Yeah, it feels about time to start that stuff up.

Landing outside the cave, Tares and Brolli decide that they'll need to use fusion in order to defeat the menace that is Microsoft. So they stand arm to arm and begin the fusion. However just before the final movement, that pizza Tares ate while watching Jerry Springer decided to do its worst, forcing Tares to release a little methane gas. This sudden burst causes Tares to lose focus for about half of a second, just as Brolli and him touch fingers. A bright flash of light fills the area, accompanied by a loud, deep whirring sound. Once the light fades and the whirring dies off, Brolli and Tares are no more. Instead, a short, fat Saiya-jin stands in their place. Long live Tarolli.

Wondering what the hell caused the bright flash of light outside his cave, Gates comes strolling out. Whipping out a pizza from behind his back, Tarolli bites into a slice of his pepperoni New Yorker. "Who the hell are you?" Gates asks. Finishing off the last slice of his pizza, Tarolli whips out some spaghetti. "I asked you a question moron," Bill adds. Slurping up the last of the noodles, Tarolli belches. "Ahh, that's better," the fusion states. Stretching a little bit, he pops back to his feet with a large grin on his face. "I am Tarolli, the mightiest warrior in the universe!" After chuckling slightly for a few seconds, Bill Gates breaks into laughter, rolling around on the ground. "Fool! How dare you laugh at Tarolli! You will bow before my greatness!" Tarolli shouts. Taking a single step forward, Tarolli trips on his shoelace and falls flat on his face.

This, of course, causes Gates to completely lose all control of his bodily functions in the laughter. If this were Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Gates would have died to laughter. Unfortunately, this isn't and simple laughter won't kill someone like Bill. It will, however, soil his pants. Tarolli gets off the floor and stomps over to the hysterical billionaire. With a single kick, Tarolli sends Gates sailing back into his cave. Venting some steam, Tarolli kicks a random black cat that appears out of nowhere.

A few seconds later, the cave explodes, well really the entire mountain explodes. Obviously pissed about the cheap shot, Gates floats to the ground in front of Tarolli, who is currently eating some rotini. "Grrr, you're pissing me off fat boy," Gates says. "Looks like you're getting pissed on to me," Tarolli jokes in between bites. Instead of starting some stupid exchange of silly jokes, Gates just sends an invisible blast of energy at Tarolli, which hits the fusion right between the eyes. Exploding with a force that would kill most people, the blast sends Tarolli sailing into another mountain, which crumples to dust in the collision.

"Ha ha ha! Pathetic fool! Greatest warrior in the universe my ass! Look how easy it was to kill you!" Gates taunts. As the dust and smoke settle, Tarolli is seen finishing off a plate of fettuccine alfredo. "What?!? How did you survive that?" Gates says in astonishment. Belching once more, Tarolli lowers into a stance and begins zipping around using Zanzoken. Popping in and out of sight, Tarolli reappears directly in from of Gates. Raising his hands to his face, Tarolli shouts "Taiyoken!" The sun reflects off a ki mirror, shining directly into Gates face. "Fuck! I can't see a damn thing!" Bill shouts as he wildly kicks and punches and throws energy blasts in random directions.

Hovering over his enemy, Tarolli chuckles a little as he raised both his hands up and forms a triangle between his index fingers and thumbs. Orientating Gates in the middle, Tarolli shouts and releases blast after blast using Kikoho, each one hitting their mark. After ten to fifteen blasts, Tarolli lowers his arms and lets the dust clear. Once it settles, Gates can be seen again, though he appears to be one arm short of a complete body. Growling a little, Gates can finally see once more. "Try this on for size Billy," Tarolli shouts. The Saiya-jin raises his arms once more and begins to rain tens upon hundreds of energy blasts down on Gates. "Wow," is all Bill can spit out before the first one hits.

Nearly five minutes later, Tarolli releases his last blast in the chain. It really was a spectacular sight to behold. What once was a mountain covered landscape now looks like the impact site of a massive meteor. Slightly drained of energy, Tarolli slowly hovers to the ground, where the fusion promptly ends. Scanning the destruction, neither Brolli or Tares can find any trace of Gates, save his right arm. Picking up the arm, Brolli notices a key. "What's this?" he asks Tares. "Looks like a key to a safe," Tares replies. Sure enough, they eventually found a large safe which survived the annihilation of the cave. Upon opening it, they found a single Namekball and some cash, which they decided to split between themselves. Grabbing the cash, they head back to the motel.

Notes:
Tares won one Boss Battle. PL raised by 210,822. Stamina lowered by 50%. He stole 1,000 zeni.
Brolli won one Boss Battle. PL raised by 210,822. Stamina lowered by 50%. He stole 1,000 zeni and the 4-star Namekball.
Bill Gates lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 52,706. He was sent to the Next Dimension and lost 2,000 zeni and the 4-star Namekball.

93) Android 17 vs. NPI Yardartians: NPI Spar
Brolli didn't write it.

Notes:
Android 17 lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,363. Stamina lowered by 0%.

92) Vegetto vs. Videl, Rainbow Randolph, and Gohan: Spar
Vegetto had agreed to spar against the rest of WASP, and since a spar involving a real fight wouldn't be worth squat, they had decided to sit down at their local pub and play Epic and drink a few beers. What, you ask, is Epic? Epic is a most excellent tabletop game that Games Workshop used to make before they became greedy money grubbing bastards. And yes, you used to be able to play in your local pub on a Sunday afternoon.

So Vegetto had gone through the trouble of selecting an army and painting it up and he was feeling really confident with his abilities, while the rest of WASP had divided up the work and well, Randolph had really slacked and his part just wasn't any good. But that set back aside, the rest of WASP was feeling really very good about their chances.

Everyone sat down in the back of the Prancing Elephant, a local pub in Capsule City, and got out their stuff.... This section was edited out by those who edit out these things because well, frankly you don't care.... The final turn was coming to an end and the game was extremely close. Vegetto found himself behind by six Victory Points. Everything was going to come down to his last three rolls. If he could get one of these last three shots through on Videl's Warlock Titan that would give him the VP he needed to win. His first roll was a straight miss, not even close. His second one hit, but Videl managed to dodge thanks to her accursed holo-fields. However, Vegetto had saved his best shot for last, he still had one Hellfire Missile left on his Ordinatus Golgotha. It didn't have the best save modifier, but her acursed Holo-field wouldn't apply.... Yet another edit as you still don't care.... Vegetto is packing up his stuff thankful that he didn't lose to the rest of WASP when Randolph walks up to him and asks him a bunch of annoying fanboy gamer questions. Vegetto, annoyed at Randolph's evil fanboy actions throws him through the roof of the pub and into a low orbit around the earth. He then calmly walks out of the pub with his stuff in tow.

Notes:
Vegetto won one Spar. PL raised by 172,850. Stamina lowered by 20%.
Videl lost one Spar. PL raised by 100,411. Stamina lowered by 30%.
Rainbow Randolph lost one Spar. PL raised by 100,411. Stamina lowered by 30%.
Gohan lost one Spar. PL raised by 100,411. Stamina lowered by 30%.

91) Vegita vs. NPI Kaioshin: NPI Spar
How monotonous can you get? If we were having a contest, Vegita and Kaioshin would DEFINITELY win the grand prize. We've been keeping tabs on Vegita's progress and things seem to be going just fine. In fact, things are currently going ahead of schedule. Just yesterday Vegita moved a whopping 2 inches without using his Bukujutsu. Unfortunately for us, this stuff is as about exciting as commentary of watching the grass grow. A snail race would be more fun.

*****SWITCHES CHANNEL*****

Ah, this is MUCH better. Believe it or not, chess is actually very fun. Let's go with the action here.

W: king pawn - king 4.
B: king pawn - king 4.
W: queen - king rook 5.
B: king - king 2.
W: queen - king 5. CHECKMATE!!!!

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen. That was a checkmate in THREE MOVES!!! I've never seen such skill, such finesse, such a terrible opponent. That was lame. Oh well. May as well turn to the Magic Penny of Seeing.

*****FLIPS COIN*****
*****flip turns up heads*****

Nah, I don't want him to win, so I'm not going to let him.

*****ZAP*****

OW!!! WHAT'S WITH THE LIGHTNING!!!!!?????

*****ZAP*****

OK OK OK, VEGITA'S THE WINNER, SHEESH! Have a nice day.

Notes:
Vegita blah one NPI Spar. PL raised by 13,107. Stamina lowered by 10%.

90) Vegetto vs. Smoochy and the Barney trio: Boss Battle
Vegetto strolled through his new home in the Next Dimension searching for the Fuzzy Foursome. It was finally time to bring their reign of terror to an end. After hours and hours of pain-staking searching, he had finally found their secret hideout. Wouldn't you know it, they were almost done building their secret weapon: an inter-dimensional satellite TV that would transmit their signal to all inhabitants of all planets in all dimensions. Apparently the Next Dimension is the only place in the entire universe from which Barney could construct such a device. Lucky for bipedal beings everywhere, Vegetto had arrived in time to thwart the Purple Dinosaur's plan. At least we hope so.

Since his death and betrayal by William H. Gates III, Smoochy decided to make a new alliance. Meeting the other three fuzzbuniuns, he decided to join their ranks. Besides, his name sounded more like a mascot than a bodyguard anyway. If the shoe fits, wear it. Right? Right. He was rather enjoying this change of pace. Barney, BJ, and Baby Bop had welcomed him to their group with open arms. Sure he knew they were using him, but he'd find SOME way of either getting in officially, or taking them out before they took him out. Either way, he was cool with this.

Barney was totally excited about finally being able to have all the followers in the universe bowing to his whim. In fact, he was currently doing his happy dinosaur dance, singing his favorite song. "I use you, you love me, give me all you're energy. With a little bitty song, you'll all be mine to use. Now as I look around, who'll be choosed?" And with that Barney scoped out Smoochy for a chocolate snack. Unfortunately for him, Vegetto took this opportunity to blow up the transmitter that was almost complete.

The blast shattered every piece of the inter-dimensional transmitter. Although he tried to kill BJ and Baby Bop, he had under-estimated their resilience. Hearing the energy blast coming, the two creepy critters jumped out of the way trying for the nearest tree, both fearing for their lives. Smoochy knew exactly what was going on, and quickly scuttled up a tree to get a good view of the battle. Depending on the outcome, he could either snipe the winner, or he could join the winner's cause. Either way, it suited him and he figured he'd be in store for a good show.

After seeing Baby Bop and BJ fly away from the explosion, Vegetto decided that he'd best deal finish the job with these two before dealing with Barney. So he went straight for the slightly weaker BJ, using his left fist to pummel the wannabe mascot into unconsciousness. While Baby Bop was picking herself off the ground, Vegetto quickly tied BJ to the nearest tree. Vegetto turned around just in time to be hit in the chest with a pair of Honoo's. Baby Bop and Barney quickly celebrated by singing and dancing, taking no time to do it sexily (thank God for that), without realizing that their attack only pissed off the gallant warrior.

Dusting himself off, Vegetto quickly ran full-speed at the Dino-Duo and double clotheslined them, putting them both on the ground, dazed and confused. That gave Vegetto enough time to conk, knockout, and tie-up another mutant mascot. As he finished the knot on Baby Bop and turned around to see the biggest, purplest ass, just waving in the breeze, taunting the Saiya-jin. As Vegetto quickly lost his lunch, Barney turned to Baby Bop with a hungry look in his eyes. "Hey, now," said Barney, "everybody loves chocolate! I want some candy!" Vegetto, having lost all of his lunch already quickly turned to Barney to stop these proceedings. Just to his left, he noticed a squirrel, happily eating his nut. Thinking quickly, he threw said squirrel between Barney and BB just in time to make a chocolate-covered nut. Barney bent over and picked up said nut saying, "That's OK kids. Nuts are good for you! A balanced diet does the body good!" And with that, Vegetto hit Barney over the head with a tree branch repeatedly.

After about ten minutes of unconsciousness the three child idols woke from their stupor to see Vegetto standing over them, all tied to each other. "What do you want from us? Retribution? Apologies? Autographs?" asked Barney. "No," replied Vegetto. "I want the truth!" and Vegetto bent down and did something unthinkable. He was pulling off BJ's head! With only a little effort, the foam head came off revealing a human head. "Monica!!!!" cried Vegetto, seeing Monica Lewinski's face staring up at him. However, knowing her relationship with a certain ex-president, her alter ego's name fit pretty well. "You want an explanation don't you?" stated Monica. "After my encounter with Bill, I got exposure to the lime-light. And I liked it. I had power, I had fame, and I had the president of the United States doing whatever I wanted. And after the scandal, I wanted that power back. This was my way of gaining what I had lost thanks to the DAMN Democrats not getting re-elected."

Shaking his head in dismay, he turned to the next masked mascot. Pulling off Baby Bop's foam head, he revealed Jennifer Lopez's shimmering chest... er uh I mean FACE! "Why the hell are YOU prancing around as a foam monster?" Looking up, J-Lo replied, "Well, I have sex, beauty, men, women, money, fame, Ben Afleck, a Southpark episode. But the one thing I don't have is a child. Ben's impotent, I'm infertile due to too much sex, and all the adoption agencies say they won't let me adopt because I'm too much of a bitch. ALL I WANTED WAS CHILDREN I COULD CALL MY OWN!" Vegetto then moved on to his final victim and began to de-mask the Purple Freak. "Who are you, I wonder," Vegetto stated while prying off the over-sized foam head. Upon completion, he was flabbergasted to see none other than Britney Spears glaring up at him. "Don't look at me like that you simpleton!" Britney screamed. "Let me save you the trouble of trying to figure out why I did it. Everywhere I go, it's 'Are they real? Are they fake? Can I touch them? Are you really a virgin? Did you and Justin have butt sex?' and I'm TIRED off the questions. Plus with Justin and his boyfriends getting all the teens to idolize him, he had all the women he could want. So why would he want me anymore? So I decided that I'd get all the little girls infatuated with Barney so that he'd have no toys once his teenies grew up. That way I'd still have the teen boys as Britney Spears, and have all the girls as Barney. It's the best of both worlds, and Justin would have to come to ME for his oo-lah-lah."

Staring wide-eyed, "That's just sick. But knowing you were Barney at least explains that 'Brazilla' form you have," replied Vegetto as he shuddered. But we almost forgot old Smoochy hiding up in the tree. He had seen everything that had been happening, and he was appalled. He was teaming up with Britney, J-Lo, and Monica. Three of the most evil women alive. He could deal with being teamed up with evil people, but not THESE bitches. And seeing Britney unmasked from the Barney suit was just too much for him. After hearing the explanation, he promptly put a bullet in the heads of all three mega-bitches, killing all three. He then quickly turned the gun on himself, knowing that he could NOT live with himself knowing what he had done. Hearing the shots, Vegetto looked up just in time to see Smoochy take the last shot. "Man, that was just too weird. Now if only I could find some food. Man I'm hungry. Come on Scooby! Let's get some pickle and peanut butter pizza."

"RO RAY, REREERO!"

Notes:
Vegetto defeated Barney, Baby Bop, and BJ. PL raised by 500,000. Stamina lowered by 20%.
Smoochy killed Barney, Baby Bop, BJ, and himself. PL raised by 500,000. He was sent to Hell.
Barney lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 32,663. He was sent to Hell.
Baby Bop lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 21,897. She was sent to Hell.
BJ lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 19,826. He was sent to Hell.

89) Yajirobe vs. Samuri Jack: Spar
Sorry. I was going to write a long display of Jack's ninja-like skills. However, I got distracted by other matters and never got around to writing it. So we'll just have to settle for this.

Notes:
Yajirobe won one Spar. PL raised by 250. Stamina lowered by 0%.
Samuri Jack lost one Spar. PL raised by 13,344. Stamina lowered by 30%.

88) Vegita vs. NPI Kaioshin: NPI Spar
Another quiet day on the Kaioshin planet, Vegita was sitting down mediating to reach oneness with his body. Kaioshin was visiting the capsule corp. residence; this had become the norm now. So sometime in the middle of the day Kaioshin returned to his planet, he seemed a bit winded. Vegita was waiting on him and quickly ran up to him and challenged him to a spar.

"Oh, Come on Vegita! I told you physical training is useless in learning Kai Kai," Kaioshin protested, but the Saiya-jin Prince continued to bug Kaioshin and soon the Kai gave in.

"Ok. Ok. One quick match," Kaioshin said as he attempted to do some stretches and warm up exercises. Vegita, being a Saiya-jin, was overly excited to fight and as soon as Kaioshin accidentally made eye contact with him, he attacked! Vegita rushed toward the Kai, using speed upgrade to increase agility and began to flash around Kaioshin.

"Wait! Wait Vegita! I'm not..." Kaioshin couldn't finish his statement as a fist hit him across the jaw. Small portals began to appear all around Kaioshin and fists started to fly out of them like a whack-a-mole game in the arcade. The Kai was being pummeled by the many attacks Vegita used, in many cases, Kaioshin would be performing much better in battle, but the majority of his energy had been used earlier that day, so in conclusion, he was exhausted and couldn't fight back.

"Galick-Ho! Fire!" Vegita shouted throwing his ands forward, launching a medium sized blast straight into Kaioshin's chest. Kaioshin went down after the attack and Vegita celebrated his superior abilities with a small dance.

"Maybe.. going to Bulma's... in the morning... isn't beneficial to me," Kaioshin thought to himself as he laid there bruised and beaten.

Notes:
Vegita won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 13,981. Stamina lowered by 15%.

87) Vegetto vs. Tares and Brolli vs. The Deadly Duo and Friends: Boss Battle
Vegetto, Tares, and Brolli all came up with the same idea: kill of the rest of the Terrible Trio, or the Deadly Duo if you prefer since Justin Timberlake was squashed into jelly by Barney the other week. Either way, all three of our so-called heroes decided to attack the remaining two evil members. They didn't really have much of a plan. In fact, they really didn't have a plan at all. This is what happens boys and girls when you do to many steroids. You get stupid. So stay off the drugs and go to school. Just say no.

Anyways, on with the story. Vegetto is bigger than either Brolli or Tares, though not as big as a fused Brolli and Tares, but still big, and he told them that he was going to take care of Barney and his butt buddies, BJ and Baby Bop, which leaves Brolli and Tares with Bill Gates. Which, in all honesty was still pretty good for them. He wouldn't really cause them much trouble and he would be a good PL boost. Or so they thought.

You see, Bill Gates had foreseen this attack by our heroes and already prepared the necessary paperwork and bribed the appropriate government agents, so that he could initiate a hostile takeover of both Turdburgler and Ox. Now, the hostile takeover, or assimilation if that is a more clear term, was not without its loopholes and catch 22's. You see, it couldn't happen unless Bill Gates was attacked by at least two or more hostile brutes of diminished awareness. Luckily for Bill that Tares and Brolli fulfill this requirement and thus the hostile takeover was a go.

"Ok guys," said Bill. You might not be so keen on this hostile takeover, or assimilation as I've been hearing you call it, but don't think of it that way. Think of it as a friendly merger. When I'm done we'll all be stronger than ever and since I already have 2/3 of the United States Senate in my pocket, we'll be able to run take over the country and control it all from behind the scenes."

"Well, if you put it that way it doesn't sound so bad," said Ox. "What do you mean Ox," said Turdburgler. "It sounds horrible. You really are stupid. You can do whatever you want, but I'm not doing anything of the sort." "Oh well I'm afraid that it isn't up to you Turdburgler. You see, you're corporate shareholders think that merging with Bill Gates is a positive step towards overall financial growth. And besides, I own your soul," Gates replies. "Well fuck me. I give up," said Turdburgler.

And with that, the corporate merger was done and Bill Gates was stronger than ever. Now aren't we all happy children? That's good. Just remember to brush your teeth after every meal and always wash behind your ears.

Now by this time Vegetto and already annihilated BJ and Baby Bop. Originally Vegetto was planning on killing them last and making them squeal and whimper in fear, but that just ended up being to much trouble se he killed them right quick. That left him with just the big purple dinosaur. Taken at face value, Vegetto is substantially more powerful than Barney, but Vegetto knew that underestimating the demon known as Barney would be a fatal mistake. He had managed to worm his way into the hearts of millions of small children and destroying the most powerful Saiya-jin in the galaxy would simply be another notch in the bedpost of an already impressive career.

As Vegetto approached, Barney let loose a rather heinous belch coming out as fire and then proceeded to shake his ass at the Saiya-jin in a tempting manner. However, Vegetto was not to be fooled but such a simple teasing. It takes much more than a cute ass to tempt Vegetto. But Barney knew this too and was simply trying to distract Vegetto from the real attack. Yes, immediately after his unsuccessful ass shaking Barney started hoping around and making monkey noises, while combining this with his ass shaking. This was simply too much for Vegetto who ran off and cowered behind a rock.

"Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts: girls on bicycles, strippers, beer....phew, that was a close one. I was about to gouge my eyes out just to get rid of that image. I better be careful. He is more powerful than even I thought," said Vegetto to himself. "I wonder what he will throw at me next. Surely nothing can be as dangerous as that."

Oh, but he was wrong: what he should have said was that nothing could be more painful than that. That would have been right. More dangerous: now that is Barney's singing. Yes, Barney was attempting to lure thousands upon thousands of children to the battle site so that the kind-hearted portion of Vegetto would be unable to continue the battle. Again, Vegetto was not to be tricked and responded with his own death threat coming out form behind his rock and disrupted the singing with a Kamehameha thrown at Barney's exposed stomach.

The attack didn't have enough on it to cause any serious damage, but it did interrupt his singing. But Barney still had one more trick up his sleeve. But even the big purple dinosaur was running out of tricks. This last one is the most deadly, but not the most dangerous. Actually, who am I kidding? Barney is finished. All of his remaining moves really pale in comparison to those first two heinous techniques. Lets just go over to Bill Gates vs. Brolli and Tares. We all know Barney is a gonner anyways. So before I go on, remember to always say "please" and "thank you" and to never chew with your mouth open. There, that's good.

It looks like Brolli and Tares are on the run. After his hostile takeover, Bill Gates' power simply skyrocketed and he has them on the run. I would have expected them to use fusion, but who knows what has happened to cause this unexpected turn of events. But oh what is going on? Several US officials carrying briefcases and looking official have just stepped onto the battlefield. They are carting Mr. Gates off. What is going on here?

Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears that Mr. Gates has been involved in a rather suspicious tax avoidance scheme that has been under investigation by the IRS for...16 months. And it seems that the US government's concerns far outweigh the concerns of Brolli and Tares. At this point in time, I feel it is necessary to mention that Brolli and Tares could put these random US officials to the death rather quickly, and normally they would, but they are all simply to stunned to do anything and in fact, since they were losing it makes more sense to hold off and let him be taken away. Now what makes even less sense is why Bill Gates is letting himself be carted off, but oh well. Who knows or understands these things.

Notes:
Vegetto killed Barney, Baby Bop, and BJ. PL raised by 500,000. Stamina lowered by 50%.
Tares tied Bill Gates. PL raised by 102,495. Stamina lowered by 20%.
Brolli tied Bill Gates. PL raised by 102,495. Stamina lowered by 20%.
Bill Gates tied Tares and Brolli and assimilated Ox and Turdburgler. PL raised by 500,000.
Ox was assimilated by Bill Gates.
Turdburgler was assimilated by Bill Gates.
Barney was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 28,965. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Baby Bop was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 18,711. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
BJ was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 16,739. He was sent to the Next Dimension.

86) Vegita vs. NPI Kaioshin: NPI Spar
Vegita had been dead for some time now and even now he had signed up for the longest training course known. So Kaioshin and Vegita would have to become good friends in order to survive their time together.

"Now listen Vegita, I'm teaching you the greatest technique known to the Kai's. The course of the training is going to long, so very long. Are you sure you won't reconsider and go home? I mean really, do want to be here that long?" Kaioshin asked Vegita. The Prince of Saiya-jins just nodded. Kaioshin cursed under his breath, he didn't want to spend that much time with Vegita.

"I will have to change his mind," Kaioshin said to himself and later he devised a plan to try to get Vegita to leave.

Later that day...

"Oh my Vegita! Come look at this!" Kaioshin called the Saiya-jin and pointed him in the direction of a giant television. On the scene was Bulma, she was talking to the plumber.

"What is this?" Vegita asked. Kaioshin just shrugged. Just then Bulma invited the plumber in and some strange grunting sounds could be heard. About 35 minutes later the plumber left. Next the pizza man, then the pest control man, and finally just about six random people off the street.

"Vegita, I had no idea! I'm sorry you had to see this," Kaioshin said, faking sympathy. Vegita just tilted his head, not understanding it.

"Why? Bulma was just getting the plumbing checked, ordering a pizza, having the ant problem fixed, and trying to sell the house," Vegita concluded. Kaioshin just looked at the Saiya-jin.

"Um, yeah. Hey Vegita I'll be right back," Kaioshin said as he teleported to earth. Within a few minutes Kaioshin was on the television set, and going into the Bulma's house. About an hour later Kaioshin returned to his planet and walked over to Vegita.

"You know what Vegita. I think I'm going to enjoy training you," Kaioshin laughed.

Notes:
Vegita lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,663. Stamina lowered by 0%.

85) Vegita Ou vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
The sun has only just set over the horizon as the father of Vegita and the old man known as Master Roshi face each other on the field of battle. Even though the fight had been well advertised as the rounds main event no-one turned up, not even the officials. Roshi starts to grumble to himself. "Bastards must've gone to see the Bardock battle instead they probably think its more fun to watch a 3-eyed man fighting than an ancient master of high skill like myself. What am I going to do without any beautiful ladies to gawk at after I win??" A little time passes as the two "warriors" ready themselves. As Roshi starts to lie down to wait for Vegita Ou to get ready, the moon shows its ugly full face and Vegita Ou begins to laugh as he grows taller and wider and much much uglier.

"You stand no chance now little man," Vegita Ou booms as he stares down at the now tiny man. "Size isn't everything in a battle!!" Roshi replies. "Only little people say that sort of thing," Vegita Ou taunts as he continues to grow. "True. So far all I've seen from you is talk," Roshi says. "You're just lucky you're not fighting one of my untrained brethren. They would have accidentally finished this fight ages ago, as I will now!!" Vegita Ou shouts.

Vegeta Ou then lifted his huge hairy foot and began to step down on top of Roshi. Not wishing to get squashed to death by a hairy big ape Roshi did what he deemed his last resort: the Kamehameha wave. Cupping his old hands together he gathered all the power he could before yelling "KA ME HA ME HAA!!" The blue beam flew through the small gap hitting Vegeta Ou's foot and doing nothing at all because the foot slammed down crushing Roshi into the ground ending the little scuffle.

Notes:
Vegita Ou won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 4,230. Stamina lowered by 10%.

84) Janemba vs. NPI Kuririn: NPI Spar
Janemba had become rather used to Kuririn's teaching style. Being the bald guy that he is, he hated being out in the sun very long, so he always trained for two hours during the day, then take the rest of the day off, with another two hours of training after the sun went down. And the best part about it according to Nemba was that he always got Sundays off. Apparently Kuririn needed Sundays to take care of some special project. Apparently this would be the last Sunday Kuririn would be busy, but Nemba would still take advantage of the situation, and go wreak some havoc on some people that really deserved it. He SO loved that kind of stuff in his spare time. But being the powerful demon that he is, he always made sure to be selective in his havoc wreaking. Over the last month he had been seeing advertisements for the First Annual Tribute to Hell's Evil Anal Dorks. He had nothing against people making fun of the evil dorks in Hell, in fact he rather enjoyed the idea of making fun of the Faggot Five, but let's get real. How can there be a first annual ANYTHING unless there's been at least a second one, making it, by definition, an ANNUAL event? That's what Nemba thought, so off he sped for the "FATHEAD" convention.

As Nemba flew over, he was looking for his main target, whoever was responsible for this event. But still being an evil little bastard, after asking directions from somebody, he'd incinerate them (well everybody except that really hot chick that wanted to give him more than directions). But he didn't doddle. He just got her number, and went along, trying to find this guy responsible for the stupid naming of this event. Eventually he found his way to the main tent. Before him he saw many photos of the five dancing dorks, each in one of his favorite poses. Since their departure to hell, everybody had been brought out of their spell, and were all wondering how they ever could have thought that these gay bastards were cool. I mean look at those damn poses! What to they think they are, Ginyus? Right. Nemba took a second to admire the mastery of the exhibit, seeing each N*cest boy in his gayest pose, with even a few photos of them in acts with each other, proving how gay they truly were. But those exhibits were on the sides of the tent, to not offend the feint of heart. He was currently admiring a photo of Justin in one of his poses, with little arrows pointing to various body parts in the pose, showing how each was totally gay. One such arrow pointed to Justin's limp wrist, which according to the exhibit's creator was one of Justin's trademarks.

"Isn't this cool?" remarked a bald man standing just behind Nemba. "Kuririn! I didn't know you were here!" the marshmallow demon reacted. "Man, I wouldn't miss this for ANYTHING! I'm just glad those bastards finally got sent to hell so that this thing could happen. Before this, everybody was under their spell and was totally in love with them. But now that they're gone, I finally got the chance to put this thing together."

"WHAT!? This was put together by you!?" spouted Nemba. "Dude, I wish you hadn't said that, now I've gotta kill you," Kuririn was barely able to get out of the way as Nemba's energy blast cut through about 300 people and through the main pole of the tent, killing 300 people, and killing the tent. Kuririn, knowing the way in and out like the back of his hand, made a quick Taiyoken and flew out of the tent, grabbing people left an right on his way out. After getting everybody out of there just before the tent totally collapsed on top of Nemba, Kuririn then quickly surveyed the tent from a topside location and quickly found the big puffy-looking lump that was flailing about, obviously cursing in some demon language. With being blinded, Nemba had no chance of getting out of the tent before it collapsed. So he was defenseless when Kuririn unleashed his multiple energy blasts at the helpless demon. Five minutes later, Kuririn tossed Nemba in the back of a taxi, told the driver to take him back to Kuririn's house stating that the demon would give him 50 zeni for the ride. Unfortunately for the taxi driver, he tried to steal 100 zeni from him and swiftly got sent to the next dimension upon arrival at Kuririn's place.

The next day Nemba read just what he had feared in the paper. "FATHEAD convention 2004 already cancelled, Stay-Puft leaves before comment on 2003 disaster." With training coming in less than an hour, Nemba remarked, "I KNEW that there wouldn't be a second one. Stupid people SUCK!"

Notes:
Janemba lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,994. Stamina lowered by 5%.

83) Bardock vs. NPI Tenshinhan: NPI Spar
Bardock had just gotten his supply of green happy grass and was rolling up some joints, when Tien walked over to him. Tien inspected Bardock, and noticed the three-pound bag of happy grass by the Saiya-jin. Bardock looked up at Tien and smiled all hippy like.

"Hey duuuude, How's it gooooing?" Bardock said as he lit up his joint and began to smoke it. Tien crossed his arms and growled a bit at Bardock. Many don't know it, but Tenshinhan had a strong disliking for happy grass for some odd reason. It may have been because of that one party he went to in high school. Tien took his first hit of happy grass there and later that night was found outside in the bushes naked. This traumatizing event, most likely, led Tien to hate happy grass. Anyway back to the story.

"Bardock, You put that happy grass out now or else," Tien ordered Bardock who just continued to smoke and mummer about flying turtles. Tien had just about enough of Bardock and decided it was time for some tough love. Tien reeled his foot back and slammed it into Bardock's stomach, causing the Saiya-jin to fly back into a tree. Tien then concentrated and sprouted his second pair of arms. With his new arms, Tien began to brutally beat Bardock, but the whole time Bardock just sat there, almost as if he didn't feel anything.

"Man these turtles are biting me! Come on turtles! Chill out! Man!" Bardock ranted as Tien continued to lay punch after punch into the Saiya-jin.

Hours later, Tien had beaten Bardock pretty bad and he was very tired. However, No matter how many bones Tien broke, or blood vessels he busted, Bardock never showed any signs of true pain. So Tien walked off not getting Bardock to stop drugs and Bardock just continued to blabber on about how the turtles where rabid and attacking him.

Can we even give Tien a victory in this spar? Can we even call this a spar? I mean in reality it was Tien vs. the happy grass, not really Bardock and if that is the case then Tien lost! I mean how can you defeat happy grass! Its freaking invincible man! So I guess to truly decide who won, we can weigh the psychical abuse Bardock suffered cause of his addiction, to the terminal mental damage Tien suffered as a young man thanks to the use of the happy grass. Hmmmm... It's a Tie!

Notes:
Bardock tied one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,624. Stamina lowered by 20%.

82) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Fat Buu didn't write it.

Notes:
Videl lost one Spar. PL raised by 8,182. Stamina lowered by 25%.
Rainbow Randolph won one Spar. PL raised by 38,730. Stamina lowered by 25%.

81) Vegetto, Tares, and Brolli vs. N*Sync: Boss Battle
It was your average day in the Next Dimension. And all was in the ready. Justin and Co. had spent all week perfecting their form. "NO!" Screamed Justin. "You have to have your arms slightly bent if you want this pose to be perfect. Like THIS," as Justin closed his eyes, looking up to the sky with his hands at his sides, arms lightly bent. This was his favorite pose. He called this the BEEJ because he first realized this pose while Britney was smoking sausage. But it was obvious to Justin that his cronies had no idea what they were doing because obviously they were so smitten with him that they had never been with a woman before. Shaking his head, he told them to go about their business, perfecting their own individual poses.

As Justin walked off, pondering his latest bout, he became totally lost in his thoughts, getting more pissed by the minute, thinking of how he was going to get back at his childhood idol, Barney. "That purple bastard! I'm going to kill that Smoochie look-alike." When suddenly he saw a blip on his scouter. It seemed nothing and really didn't click on him until he heard, "FUUUUUUUUU" and immediately he knew what was happening. From the latest debacle, he knew the ramifications of having a big bad fused warrior crawling up your unprotected butt, and immediately yelled "TIME FREEZE!" and began holding his breath, and looking in the general direction of the noise. What he saw horrified him. Lance, Joey, JC, and Chris were all being the stupid idiots the always were. And by the looks of them, they were either having a manage-au-quad, or were plotting behind his back. Either way he was disgusted and didn't care. He had bigger fish to fry at this point.

But about 20 feet away, he found what he was looking for, Brolli and Tares, mid-way through the fusion dance. Loving his own perfection of that dance, he didn't want to be shown up. So as quickly as he could, (cuz he was quickly running out of breath) he ran up to the using duo, and moved Brolli's finger 2 inches up, and Tares' finger 2 inches down, thus throwing off their form. At that very moment Justin collapsed on the ground, letting out a huge (sigh) and gasping for air. "SION!" finished Brolli and Tares. And with their slightly awkward form, fused into a big blob of a man, Tarolli who immediately asked for a bunch of pizza. After catching his breath, Justin looked up and immediately began laughing his ass off. Never had he seen a fusing resulting in an overweight Italian with the pointy hair of a Saiya-jin. After about 15 minutes of rolling on the ground laughing at the sight of the freakishly failed fusion (that's a bit of alliteration for you non-English majors out there), Justin turned to he lackeys and told them to dispose of the impotent Italian.

But as luck would have it, before him was another battle, raging on. While Justin was in his seizure-ous state of sillies (that's more alliteration, dorks), Vegetto had come up behind the fagot four (even more), and had begun beating three of them over the head with Lance's left leg. Had Justin been paying attention, or even cared, when he had originally frozen time, he would have seen behind his queer quad (yup, there it is again), the slight blue glow of a kamehameha, which had incinerated the entire body of Lance, except his left leg, which was being used to beat the other three pretty boys. In unison, he could hear the faint sound of music coming from his three remaining pansy pals (he he). It vaguely sounded like an acapella rendition of It's So Hard to Say Goodbye by Boyz II Men. And hearing this, Justin no longer cared about what happened to his Junior Junkies (isn't this English lesson fun?). He'd wanted to go on a solo career anyway.

After beating the remaining N-cest boys over the head with their departed counterpart's appendage for the past 25 minutes, Vegetto had finally had enough. They were no real match for him anyway. As he threw down lance's leg, he destroyed it with a quick energy blast. "Please don't kill us...again," Pleaded JC, the kiss-ass of the group. "Why the hell not? You guys are worth nothing. You suck up all that is life-giving into your own shells of bodies, and use that to create an outer beauty to attract teeny girls in order to get laid, thus corrupting them, turning them into teen groupie whores. You all deserve to die." And he immediately hacked the little lovers (hey, here's more!!!) into little tiny pieces with his sword of ki. All that was left was one more pussy to deal with.

Justin was just walking back over to Tarolli to finish some business with the malformed manifest (yes, that's also more) of Tares and Brolli when he felt an energy blast hit him in the back. "What the hell? Can't a mega-superstar get a little break so that he can have a little fun? All I ever do is perform, and perform, all the while having to deal with those four flamboyant fags (no, Justin doesn't know what alliteration is. He's stupid, remember?)! Well at least I don't have to deal with THEM anymore. But you're going to pay for attacking ME!!" said Justin as he turned to meet Vegetto. Now just as Justin turned his vengeful nature toward the new foe, Tarolli split into two, with Brolli and Tares looking at each other, wondering why Justin still was alive before them, walking towards Vegetto. And after a quick survey of the current situation, seeing green, yellow, pink, and purple blood on the ground (the colors of the other four N'suck boys' blood. Coincidentally the same colors as the four teletubbies. Is this mere coincidence? We shall never know.) decided it may be a better idea to finish this without using fusion.

Upon seeing Justin turning his attention towards him, Vegetto knew he was in trouble, but it was the only way to win this thing. He'd never get any help from a fused Tarolli, who would do nothing but eat, and if he was lucky, talk some Italian Robert Deniro-type smack. But that was about it. He was thrilled to see the fused lardo split into the two Saiya-jin warriors once again. And seeing his two counterparts charging the last loser, he knew they meant business. Justin never knew what hit him. Yelling "SPEED UPGRADE," Brolli was on him first, taking out his knees, and knocking him to the ground. Vegetto, being slightly closer than the other two, was the second into the fray delivering a quick, yet firm, punch to the forehead of the pitiful poser (hey, it's been a paragraph or two, it was just time), disfiguring his face for the remainder of his pitiful existence. But Tares was quickly behind, putting a cap on the triple-threat combo with a boot-to-the head, giving the wannabe wuss (couldn't go another two paragraphs this time, sorry.) a severe case of whiplash. Seeing Justin fall to the ground sent joy through all three warriors' hearts. Despite being evil themselves, this was one case in which the evil had been misused, and thusly even Brolli and Tares were happy to see the delinquent dick (my best work so-far) go to hell. Unfortunately their celebration was short-lived.

After a brief stay on the ground to regain his senses (what little he had to begin with) and his breath, Justin got up, dusted himself off, and began to cry as he looked into his portable mirror, which he ALWAYS kept handy. "YOU DISFIGURED MY BEAUTIFUL FACE, YOU DAMN MONKEYS!!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!" he shouted as he turned around. But Brolli (totally unintentional I swear), still being the fastest of the three, got to Justin just as he turned around, delivering what should have been a crippling kick (hey, does that count with a "c" and a "k"? I think it does) to the nuts. But the idiotic idol (nope, not this time; this time it's a vowel sound, and thusly is NOT alliteration. It's some other term although I don't know its name.) just laughed at him. It was then that Brolli remembered that Justin didn't HAVE any nuts to kick. He was barely able to avoid the retaliatory punch of posing pansy (yeah yeah, I know I used this one before), and got back to his fellow fighters (it's too easy). After a quick (and I DO mean quick) talk, they had a plan. Quickly Brolli ran straight at Justin. Justin was ready for this and was just about to land a patented Britney Boot (isn't English a great language) when Brolli yelled, "TAIYOKEN!!" blinding Justin, and then quickly took a turn to his left, getting out of Tares' way. At that same moment, Vegetto IT'ed to behind Justin, and a simultaneous chorus of "KAAAAA, MEEEE, HAAA, MEEEE, HAAAA!!!!!" rung through the heavens as Vegetto hit Justin from behind with his attack. At this same exact time, Tares was using his move, made famous by Tien, putting his hands to his head, releasing multiple Kikoho's to counteract the kamehameha, keeping Justin from moving while being battered with Vegetto's ballsy blast (what?) of energy.

After getting out of the way, and turning around, Brolli saw what he had hoped (once again, totally unintentional). He saw Justin right between Tares and Vegetto, blinded and caught between two of the most powerful attacks known to man. This would give Brolli just enough time to charge his attack. Quickly gaining a footing, he charged up every ounce of energy he had, releasing it in a huge Big-Bang (that doesn't count either) Kamehameha, straight at Justin. The combination of these three attacks was too much for even the evil pretty-boy pansy (that does) to take. Lost in the three attacks, he imploded as all three attacks met, forming a giant explosion resulting in not only the demolition of Justin Timberlake, but also the destruction of everything within a 100-yard radius. All that was left were three Saiya-jins, all lying on the ground, quietly breathing, barely (oops) conscious or strong enough to move. Looking at each other, they decided from eye contact alone that it might be a good idea to just sit and recoup for the rest of the dreary day (couldn't resist one more).

Notes:
Vegetto killed Lance, Chris, Joey, and JC and helped kill Justin Timberlake. PL raised by 500,000. Stamina lowered by 95%.
Tares helped kill Justin Timberlake. PL raised by 216,520. Stamina lowered by 85%.
Brolli helped kill Justin Timberlake. PL raised by 216,520. Stamina lowered by 90%.
Justin Timberlake was killed by Vegetto, Tares, and Brolli. PL raised by 27,065. He was sent to Hell.
Lance was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 6,204. He was sent to Hell.
Chris was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 6,204. He was sent to Hell.
Joey was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 6,204. He was sent to Hell.
JC was killed by Vegetto. PL raised by 6,204. He was sent to Hell.

80) Android 17 vs. NPI Puaru: NPI Spar
Android 17 faced off to spar against Puaru. However, they didn't spar against one another in shape changing or combat or evil video games. No, they faced off in an intense test of endurance. Yes, the decided to see who could watch the movies for the most consecutive hours. Each one of them would choose a movie, and then the two of them would agree on a third one. Puaru won the coin toss and he choose of something fun to get the whole thing started. After all there was no sense wasting any of his big guns earlier. Puaru chose Happy Gilmore and they were both amused. Then followed many, many movies: Star Wars Episode Two, Grave of the Fireflies (17 really though he had Puaru on that one), Armageddon, Gone in Sixty Seconds, and A Clockwork Orange (that was Puaru's first big gun). Now, 10 hours into their marathon 17 is pulling out his second big gun: all three parts of Pride and Prejudice. You ask me how he is going to get through this I don't know, but he has decided not to wait any longer. This is the big gun to end all big guns. And low and behold, Puaru falls asleep during it. But wait, so did 17. Let us consult the replay and see who fell asleep first. Could 17's own movie have betrayed him only 4 hours into the 6-hour epic? The referee's are consulting that silly little replay box. It has been brought onto the field. They seem to be done with it, lets see what they have to say. Oh my god folks, apparently the replay was unhelpful and they have decided to settle the matter with a coin toss. Head it is 17, tails it is Puaru. I can hardly take it: this suspense is killing me. Woooooooo, It's heads. I can't believe it. I really can't believe it. 17 did it.

Notes:
Android 17 won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 3,183. Stamina lowered by 0%.

79) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Sorry, but I went and saw the Matrix 2 instead of writing my spars. I'm to damn tired to even think right now.

Notes:
Videl lost one Spar. PL raised by 6,324. Stamina lowered by 25%.
Rainbow Randolph won one Spar. PL raised by 37,149. Stamina lowered by 30%.

78) Oolong vs. Fat Buu vs. Minosha: FFA Spar
Everything at Roshi's Island had begun to get weird in the past few days. Ever since Videl left the island, there had been a serious shortage of women. Of course there was still Lunch, but she had taken up refuge in her barricaded room. On top of the women shortage, everyone's porn had vanished! Fat Buu's collection of Ranfan and Bulma photos, that he had secretly taken when he trained with them, were gone! Oolong's vast collection of naked celebrity photo's (most of them were just pictures of Oolong in henge but any-who) were gone! Minoshi's picture of his ex-girlfriend was missing! So everyone was on edge with anger and built up frustration.

"Oolong! You take Buu's stuff!?" Fat Buu shouted at Oolong, who replied, "Take your stuff? You took my stuff!"

Minoshi was also angry, but since he was so weak he really didn't want to point any fingers. After an hour or two of back and forth insults, Fat Buu and Oolong decided to fight to see who was right. Oolong knew he could just use his ultimate strategy and transform into a quad breast Brittany Spears, then use split-form for the Quad-some Brittany Quad Boob Bomber Attack!

"But if I do that attack I might get attacked by everyone on the island," Oolong thought to himself. Fat Buu saw Oolong in deep thought and surprised attacked him by taking a chunk of his pink fat stomach and manipulating it into a baseball bat, then beating Oolong in the head with it. The poor pig couldn't put up a proper defense in time and was brutally beating by an angry horny Fat Buu. Minoshi saw this violent attack and ran away as fast as he could.

"Why he running? He must have taken Buu's stuff!!!! BUU MAD!" Fat Buu shouted as steam shoot out his body. Fat Buu would have chased Minoshi down and beat him like he did Oolong, but that would have required him to move more than he pleased. So instead Fat Buu slammed his foot into the ground and a foot came straight up underneath the fleeing Konack, kicking him in the privates hard! Minoshi fell to the ground after Fat Buu retracted his foot. Fights on the island continued to break out all that night.

The next day, everyone's stuff returned mysteriously after Master Roshi's 100 gig hard drive became mysteriously filled.

Notes:
Oolong was defeated by Fat Buu. PL raised by 5,529. Stamina lowered by 10%.
Fat Buu defeated Oolong and Minosha. PL raised by 23,866. Stamina lowered by 15%.
Minosha was defeated by Fat Buu. PL raised by 5,529. Stamina lowered by 5%.

77) Janemba vs. NPI Gohan: NPI Spar
Janemba and Gohan faced off in what I really regret to inform you just isn't a very interesting battle. There are no really exciting climaxes or turnabouts. Not much really happens in all honesty. I really question even getting out of bed this morning at this point in time. I mean, why both if this is all that is going to happen? You bed is warm and comfortable and with any luck has a warm companion in it that might also like to spend their Sunday in bed. But for those of you that really want to know what happened here is the quick thirty-four and a half second version. Janemba kicked Gohan in the chest, Gohan retaliated by trying to gnaw Janemba's leg off, oh wait, sorry that was during their last spar. This time Gohan countered by whipping out his Dice 'O' Pain and doing whatever the dice came up. This seeming randomness was simply too much for Janemba who simply was not able to counter. And that is all folks.

Notes:
Janemba lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,765. Stamina lowered by 10%.

76) Vegita vs. NPI Red Ogre: NPI Spar
Sorry, but I went and saw the Matrix 2 instead of writing my spars. I'm to damn tired to even think right now.

Notes:
Vegita lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,145. Stamina lowered by 20%.

75) Vegetto, Tares, Brolli, and Yajirobe vs. The Terrible Trio and Friends: Boss Battle
The Terrible Trio, as they liked to be called, had grouped together for a battle of epic proportions. Well, let me rephrase that: the PR guy they had hired to market themselves as evildoers liked to have them called The Terrible Trio, or TTT for short. In fact, Bill Gates doesn't much like being associated with Justin and Barney and I'm quite certain the feeling is mutual. You see, the problem with being hated instead of simply evil is that even your evil cohorts hate you and such is the case here.

But now that the matter has been clarified let us get on with the battle. TTT was hanging around on planet Namek waiting for Bolli, Tares, Vegetto, and that little coward Yajirobe to try and dethrone them as The Terrible Trio. Remember, there are four of them even though Yajirobe isn't very terrible. It was about six o'clock when the four upstarts showed up looking all cocky. Without giving TTT time to respond Brolli and Tares fused to form Trolli. Trolli is much more useful than Tarolli who is very Italian, and thus spends all of his time eating, but still less useful than the difficult to pronounce Brores. Being the cocky son of a bitch that he is, Trolli decided to take on TTT all by himself, so he quickly knocked both Yajirobe and Vegetto out, tying them both up behind a large rock. Trolli then immediately squared off against TTT and all of their minions. "So, which one of you wants to die first?" asked Trolli.

"If you would give us a moment or three we would be happy to oblige you and die in a suitably organized fashion. Just give us a moment to draw lots," responded Bill. "If we want to even have a chance in hell of beating those idiots we'll need to be smart about it. Does anyone have any ideas?" -silence- "Well, that wasn't helpful. I'm so glad I teamed up with so many stellar minds. Here is our plan: BJ, you distract him with whatever legal jargon you can come up with. They probably aren't very smart and your impressive legal maneuverings will confound them. Just be careful, they may lose their temper quickly so know when to back off. Turdburgler, ride off into the distance and use your specially modified sniper rifle to defend BJ if Trolli becomes angered. Baby Bop, you also need to come to BJ's rescue if things get out of hand. You can't take him on your own though so be careful. Your best option is a quick attack to save BJ and his impressive legal knowledge. We'll need him after this battle is over so that we can get the rights to make a TV special out of this battle," Gates instructs.

"Now, two of us are going to need to fuse. Barney you could almost defeat them on your own, but I worry about Yajirobe. He is weak and pathetic, but he always has lots of tricks up his sleeves and a few more in his Japanese kilt type thing. I'd normally volunteer to fuse, but honestly Barney, the notion of turning into a fat purple dinosaur just doesn't really appeal to me, and well Justin, you're an idiot," Gates says. "Don't look at me," replied Justin. "Do you have any idea what being associated with Barney on that scale would do to my ratings? I already employ a vast team of marketing guru's just to keep my ratings where they are. Associating with you two has lost me millions." "Oh, boo hoo. I've lost millions of dollars. I'm so pathetic. Love me, love me: my name is Justin. Grow up you sissy boy. I wake up in the middle of the night to take a crap and I lose a few million. Welcome to my world. Talking to you is like talking to the US Government: Worthless," Gates throws in his face.

"Well, I think you're both great and would be perfectly happy to fuse with anyone at all. I'm a happy dinosaur," Barney replies. At right about this time Trolli grew rather impatient and decided to kill a few members of N*SYNC. Everyone say goodbye to Lance, Chris, Joey, and JC. Can't say I'll miss them. "Um, guys," stammered Justin, "they just killed the rest of my band. Don't you think we should decide what we are going to do?" "Oh, shut up you coward," responded Bill. "BJ, engage in step one of my plan while we sort out the rest. Turdburgler, watch his back," he finishes. "Excuse me Trolli. Might I have a moment of your time? You see, by attacking The Terrible Trio you are in direct violation of NCC-1783, subsection 212; paragraph 2 which deals with notions of good and evil throughout the universe," BJ says. -blank stare-

"I can see that I have confused you. Let me try this again. You see, by sending Lance, Chris, Joey, and JC to the next dimension you have violated international law. And as much as I can overlook this action on a personal basis, I mean lets be honest they couldn't sing and neither can Justin, the Law doesn't see things with human eyes. It will not be willing to consider the sociopolitical reasons for your actions. The Law is interested only in the Law, and you my friend have violated the Law. Now, if you were to say leave and come back during normal 9-5 business hours I would be willing to help you put together a deposition to keep you out of trouble. I would even be willing to cut my regular fee by 12%.

At about this time Trolli becomes greatly annoyed with BJ's legal ramblings and fires a few hundred blasts into BJ. Luckily for BJ, Turdburgler was paying attention and just when the final blow was going to come, he attacked Trolli with his specially modified sniper rifle. The rifle didn't do any serious damage to him, but it did distract him for long enough for Baby Bop to come to BJ's rescue. Or more accurately, allowing Baby Bop to wave her ass in the air so that BJ could run off. Damn she's not attractive. I'm surprised Trolli didn't have a brain hemorrhage from seeing that.

At this point in time Trolli is getting really annoyed and swats Smoochy aside, sending his fruity, flute playing self to the Next Dimension without barely a thought. However, unfortunately for Trolli, Bill and Justin had reconciled their differences and decided that fusing together was better than fusing with a purple dinosaur. After all, Bill would get questionably good looks that women seem to find irresistible and Justin would get a brain. It was really the best of both worlds.

And so Justbill Timbergate was born. The arrogant force of evil turned towards and gloated. "You worm. You thought to challenge us? The most evil force in the galaxy; you fool. Now you shall die for your transgression."

Not willing to admit defeat so soon, Trolli attacked Justbill Timbergate with everything he had. He even tried a Watch the Birdy, but Justinbill Timbergate was not to be fooled. As time passed on and on, Trolli was worm down and kicked about by the evil duo. But what is this? A full moon? It seems that Justbill Timbergate is down. He can't possibly hope to compete with the gigantic Saiya-jin apes. Oh, but a gigantic purple dinosaur can. It seems that Barney can also go Oozaru. I knew there was more to that bulbous purple animal that met the eye. He's like transformers...or something like that anyways.

The two apes slugged it out. Bashing each other with nothing more than determination. Trolli comes at Barney with a fiendishly clever, or at least fiendishly clever for a giant ape with no brain, pair of attacks. First he smacks Barney in the head with what looks to be about a third of a mountain and then while Barney is stunned clamps onto Barney's arm with his jaw, trying to tear it off and leave the purple giant crippled.

Up until now Barney hadn't wanted to hurt Trolli's feelings and make him feel inadequate so he hadn't used any of his moves, but now with his arm threatened, and Baby Bop terrified that she might lose her revolting purple sex partner, Barney decided that it was time to take this fight more seriously and he yelled "strength upgrade!" and smacked Trolli across the face so hard he'll probably end up with a hair lip. This was doubly unfortunate for Trolli as his 30-minute fusion had ended and he reverted back to just Brolli and Tares. This was pretty much the end of Brolli and Tares, again. They don't seem to have much luck with TTT. However, in their infinite acapella hating wisdom, right before Barney was going to squash then into Saiya-jin jelly, Brolli and Tares ran up to Justin and gave him a big old hug. So I guess we can thank Brolli and Tares for at least removing the vile evil that is Justin Timberlake from the world as we know it.

Notes:
Vegetto tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 222,173.
Tares lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 219,543. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Brolli lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 219,543. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Yajirobe tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 222,173.
Bill Gates tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 205,921.
Ox tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 24,627.
Smoochy lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 10,223. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Turdburgler tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 24,627.
Justin Timberlake lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 205,921. He was sent to the Next Dimension and lost the Namekballs and the Guidebook.
Lance lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 4,343. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Chris lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 4,343. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Joey lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 4,343. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
JC lost one Boss Battle. PL raised by 4,343. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Barney tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 126,410.
Baby Bop tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 24,627.
BJ tied one Boss Battle. PL raised by 24,627.

74) Janemba vs. NPI Goku: NPI Spar
Janemba had been perfecting the Kamehameha under Goku's tutelage for sometime now. The child like Janemba was having fun sending Kamehamehas through vortexes and writing the alphabet in the sky. But we all know Janemba's child manner is nothing but a front for his true evilness. Goku though was quite thickheaded, and believed that Janemba was just a lovable blob of goodness.

"Wow that's good sky writing Janemba. Keep it up buddy," Goku smiled tapping Janemba on the back. Goku then turned around and headed back to his house. Janemba grinned devilishly, as the clouds blew over and the once single letters in the sky formed words.

"KILL GOKU!" was written. Janemba turned around and cupped his hands to his side. The blue energy ball formed quickly as Janemba sneered at Goku, picturing a bull's eye on his back. Janemba then sent the blast forward right at Goku, but the Saiya-jin had just tripped over a rock and the kamehameha beam gliding right over him. Goku looked up just in time to see his house explode from the blast. "Awww, that's the second time today Janemba accidently hit my house. He needs more practice," Goku smiled getting up and dusting himself off. "Keep practicing Janemba!" Goku smiled at the demon, who was still planning his destruction.

Notes:
Janemba tied one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,853.

73) Android 17 vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
It was the night before Mother's Day, and all through the Kame House, not a thing was sturring, not even Lunch's blouse. Okay, enough of that. Trying to make a parody of that song just doesn't work. Anyway, as the holiday approached, Android 17 came to the sudden realization that he didn't have a gift or even a simple greeting card to give to his mother. So he decided to make a last second trip to Blah-Mart and picked up a few cheap DVDs. After peering through their "large" selection, he chose to get her Short Circuit, Hackers, and Robot Jox. In all reality, these were his favorite titles. He simply bought them cause he didn't really know what movies his mother likes. Plus, if she never watched them, he could take them for himself!

Anyway, as he began to pack them into a small gift bag, he came to yet another realization: he didn't even know who his mother was, let alone if he even had one at all. I mean, he is an Android. So he decided to send a letter to his "father", Dr. Gero, to find out. Several days have passed since then, but he has yet to get a reply. "Damnit, when is that moron going to respond?" 17 asks himself. "How the hell am I supposed to know who to give this shit too?" Roshi, who couldn't help overhearing this, decided to play a little trick on 17. Escaping to his bedroom, he pulled out some paper and a pen and began to write....

The next day, which happens to be today, Mother's Day, 17 finally got his reply. Okay, I'm sure your wondering how he got the letter considering the mail doesn't get delivered on Sundays. The only response I have is blah. That's right, blah. Anyway, 17 pulled the letter out of the mailbox and tore it open.

"To whom it may concern," he reads. "Fucker couldn't even personalize the damn thing," 17 says to himself. "It has recently come to my attention that you were never told who the female DNA donor for your body was. Now, it may come as a surprise to you, but I don't know who it is. This shit comes in the mail, after all. For all I know, it may be Paula Jones, Sinéad O'Connor, or even Marilyn Monroe. So, instead I have contacted my source for such things and asked them to hook you two up. She should be arriving at the location known as the Kame House at around 6 PM. Dr. Gero," 17 finishes. "Well, isn't that convenient," the Android says to himself. Dropping the letter on the kitchen table, he heads to his room to change into a new, cleaner set of his clothing.

Well, 6 o'clock finally comes and the door bell rings. Jumping out of his chair, 17 nervously walks to the door. "I wonder what she'll look like. I hope to Kami that she isn't Hilary Clinton.... Even Anna Nicole Smith would be better than her," he whispers to himself. Grasping the doorknob, he takes a deep breath and flings the door open. Standing in the doorway is a short, bearded woman. "Fuck, a circus freak!" 17 says. A sharp pain suddenly fills 17 as the woman's leg strikes him between the legs. The woman watches 17 fall to the floor and curl into the fetal position. "You should respect your mother boy," she says in a raspy, obviously male voice before turning and leaving. Watching from around a corner, Roshi chuckles and grabs the bag of DVDs, heading up to his room to watch the wonders of Short Circuit. Would you like to be a pepper too?

Notes:
Android 17 lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 697.

72) Oolong vs. Fat Buu vs. Minosha: FFA Spar
Something amusing, something amusing, something amusing. There Buu, I wrote "something amusing." Are you happy? I sure hope so. Well, anyway. It pretty much seems to me that this is an open and shut case. Does Minosha actually stand a chance? No. Does Oolong stand a chance again Fat Buu? Probably not, but let's see what happens. Minosha, hoping to get a little battle experience, decided to join the others because he'd never actually battled anybody before. Just like anything else, before diving in headfirst into a battle, you like to put your toes in the water to test the temperature. Little did he know that the water was filled with big friggin piranhas.

Minosha really didn't stand a chance. And wouldn't you know it, Oolong, being the pervert that he is, was sporting his latest female body. Hell, if it weren't for the threat of Barney Company out there somewhere, the perverted Oolong wouldn't even leave the house, or his room with the mirror on the ceiling. Needless to say, an Oolong in the guise of Britney Spears showed up to the battle, ready to use his sexiness attack. Minosha, who had no chance against this and started to drool all over himself, ran straight to the bathroom where he would remain for the next four hours.

Buu, however wasn't quite taken so off-guard. He knew about this attack, and had even studied it, and knew how to counter the effects. But the resourceful Oolong wasn't through yet. He had seen Tien spout out four arms in battle, and had learned how to do this from the human warrior. But, being the BIG perv that he is, he had NO desire to grow two new arms. Instead, there before Buu was a four-breasted Britney Spears!!! Buu was SHOCKED! And Oolong wasted no time in going straight after Buu in his moment of embarrassment. Oolong went STRAIGHT to his stripper routine, shaking his thang(s) all the while, being scantily clad, barely able to cover all four boobs. Buu was totally stoked! Sure he had expected Oolong to use some sexiness against the pink pile of blubber, but NOT with four boobs! So Buu was MORE than happy to enjoy this event. Happily, he sat down to watch the show, when Britney (I mean Oolong) came up to the Demon, stretching out her (I mean HIS, man this is confusing) panties. Buu, having been to the occasional strip club knew what THIS meant, and happily forked over his zeni (paper style) to see a bit more, and more, and more, and even got Oolong to give a lap-dance. The only thing as important to Oolong as porn is money, after all. Poor old Buu couldn't contain his excitement, and suddenly disappeared in a cloud of steam. Oolong, looking around, wondered what happened to the pink puff, but finding 100 zeni in his panties decided not to worry about it. I think it can safely be said that Oolong didn't win, because he DID after all, give Buu a lap-dance. But then again, neither, really did Buu, for all he really gained was a lap-dance from a pig, and even that he had to pay for. And the ultimate loser has to be Minosha, who sat, hours on end, in the bathroom ogling over Britney Spears.

Notes:
Oolong defeated Minosha and tied Fat Buu. PL raised by 13,032. He gained 100 Zeni.
Fat Buu tied Oolong. PL raised by 3,818. He lost 100 Zeni.
Minosha was defeated by Oolong. PL raised by 1,528.

71) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Videl and Rainbow Randolph had a decent relationship going with each other. They had been working together for some time now and they really seemed to connect on that mutual level. But Rainbow Randolph started to have his doubts when he noticed Videl hanging out with Fat Buu. "I wonder what she is doing with Fat Buu?" RR asked himself. This question bothered him for some time, so he investigated. By going through Fat Buu's student records he found out that Videl was learning the dreaded chocolate beam. "No...no! NO! Videl why?!" RR cried as he ran out of Fat Buu's training camp and back home to figure things out.

There RR sat in his cozy little apartment, working out what he did wrong to deserve the chocolate beam. "She is going to eat me I know it! What did I do to make her want to eat me?!" RR cried, but he then got serious. "This means war. If she's going to plot against me I'm going to plot against her." RR left his apartment and began to set up a trap for Videl. He set up the classic cannon at the front door trick. Rigging a large cannon to blast straight into Videl when she opened the front door of her house. The plan was brillant and Videl would surely be done for. RR carefully walked to the door and rang the bell. "Milk Man!" RR said as he ran and hid behind a tree opposite the front door. A few seconds later, Videl opened the door and BOOOM, The cannon blasted her in the chest sending her flying through the house and out the other side. RR laughed victoriously as he ran away to plot his next attack on his master. Videl was still recovering from the blast in some rubble of the house behind her home. "Who? What? (cough) Milk man? Uuuh," Videl said as she passed out.

Notes:
Videl lost one Spar. PL raised by 4,523.
Rainbow Randolph won one Spar. PL raised by 36,019.

70) Android 18 vs. NPI Gerudo: NPI Spar
Android 18 had spent the last week or so under the tutelage of the short, green, four-eyed Alien. Gerudo had been trying to teach her the secrets of the space-time continuum, but unfortunately, she wasn't the brightest of students. He should have guessed this much when he first saw her. A natural blonde and quite attractive, it was basically a given that she wouldn't be the brightest bulb in the box. However, he continued to try, if only to have an excuse to stare at her body some more.

"Today we'll actually be performing the greatest technique in the history of the universe. That's right. After all the time we've spent in research, we'll actually be performing Time Freeze!" Gerudo says enthusiastically. "So pay attention and do exactly what I do. Are you watching? Time Freeze!" Gerudo shouts, taking a deep breath. Of course, she can't exactly watch what he's doing when she's frozen in time. No one ever said Gerudo was the smartest grape on the vine either. Anyway, he releases the breath.

"Get all that?" he asks. "Um, I think so," she replies. "Okay, then try it yourself," Gerudo tells Android 18. "Tome Freeze!" 18 shouts. "No no no. Time, with a long I," Gerudo says. "Tome..." 18 replies. "Time, an I!" Gerudo shouts again, annoyed. "Time?" the Android asks. "Yes! Time! Now, try it again!" Gerudo commands. "Time Freeze!" 18 shouts as she takes an enormous breath. It was then that it hit the green alien: Androids don't need to breathe, and thus, don't need to exhale. Millennia would pass for the Android, yet no time at all for the rest of the universe. Eventually, rust would eat through her chest cavity (don't ask me how), releasing the breath and restoring the flow of time. Of course, by this time Android 18 is basically non-functional and thus, cannot continue with these mundane exercises.

Notes:
Android 18 lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 3,134.

69) Tapion vs. Vegita Ou: Spar
I forgot that Brolli didn't have a computer when I assigned this spar to him. Thus, he couldn't write it.

Notes:
Tapion won one Spar. PL raised by 5,139.
Vegita Ou lost one Spar. PL raised by 2,003.

68) Vegetto vs. NPI Yardartian: NPI Spar
Brolli's computer blew up and he didn't send any results.

Notes:
Vegetto won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 20,784.

67) Vegita Ou vs. NPI Kuririn: NPI Spar
I didn't give a damn about writing any spars this week.

Notes:
Vegita Ou won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,437.

66) Android 18 vs. NPI Furiza: NPI Spar
Android 18 had been trying to learn Death Ball all week but she just couldn't get it. Well, more accurately she just couldn't understand why she was learning the move. "I don't want to destroy the earth," she said to herself.

Oh well, not like I care about her inner monologue. Let's get on with the spar and stuff. Hmmmm, now this brings about an interesting problem. What the hell am I going to write? I don't have any actual content. I really just babble on endlessly about lord knows what and then figure out how to make it at least vaguely competitive so it resembles a spar. Honestly, I'm amazed anyone even reads my spar. Does anyone read my spars? On second thought, don't answer that. I don't want to know the answer. I'll just continue along in my haze of not knowing. It is better that way.

So, about this spar: 18 and Furiza faced off on planet Furiza. I wish I had a planet named after me. That just seems like it would be really cool. Planet Steve just has a really good ring to it. But anyways, Furiza and 18 decided that instead of trying to kill each other -- after all Death Ball does a rather good job of that and she been practicing it all week so there had been plenty of trying to kill everything -- they would play a wicked game of DDR 3rd mix: The True Classic DDR, none of the new fangled versions. Each one of them would dance to three songs. Furiza stepped up and choose his first song: Mr. Wonderful. Using his enhanced dancing skills he smoked the song and got a perfect. Android 18 was not impressed and Furiza chose his next song: Captain Jack. Again Furiza got a perfect. On to his third song, the song they would both have to dance to, Dead End. This song finally proved to much of a challenge for Furiza and he barely passed with a C.

Now it was 18's turn. She stepped up and picked her first song: Dynamite Rave. She had been spending most of her free time practicing, but she was still able to only get a A so she was already behind Furiza. Now Furiza picked her second song: Dam Dariam. This song proved to be far easier than Dynamite Rave and she got a perfect. For her final song 18 also had to do Dead End. Dead End was one of 18's least favorite songs and she had hardly danced it twice. Either way she resolved to give it her best. 3 grueling minutes later she was covered in sweat and had managed a B. "How did I do that?"

"Curses!" screamed Furiza. "I've never been defeated at Dance Dance Revolution. You cheated."

Notes:
Android 18 won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 8,855.

65) Tares vs. Yajirobe: Spar
After training all week, it was finally time. Tares and Yajirobe decided that it was finally time to find out where they stood with each other. So each took their position, ready to spar. "Wait a second," stated Tares, "I need to warm up first. You know how I get hurt if I don’t at least stretch before I exert myself." Rather annoyed at this, Yajirobe decided that this would be acceptable, since he had to deal with it all week. Although he was annoyed that he hadn’t done it earlier.

As Tares proceeded through his warm-up, Yajirobe decided to go find something to do. And after about four hours of playing NFL Blitz, and 492 different swear words, many of which were repeated. Yajirobe had finally decided it was now or never for the spar. Luckily, Tares was just finishing his trademark Tequila Sunrise with a twist of lime (and one of those little umbrella thingies) which is the last part of his pre-training ritual. Thus, Tares was ready, tossing aside his empty martini glass.

As Yajirobe pulled out the Z-sword, he found himself exhilarated for the chance to kick some butt. Having never really fought anybody yet, he was quite surprised to feel so full of energy, not the typical terror that he was used to in such situations. Feeling big and bad, he yelled for the spar to start. "LET’S GO!"

And with that it was over. Tares had always assumed that the human warrior had been hiding his true power. But after unleashing his first punch upon the poor Yajirobe, and hearing the bones crunch, he quickly realized he had been wrong. As Yajirobe lay unconscious on the ground, Tares slowly tip-toed away to call an ambulance when he realized that they were already dead anyway, so it really didn’t matter.

Notes:
Yajirobe lost one Spar. PL raised by 9,738.
Tares won one Spar. PL raised by 6,762.

64) Vegita vs. NPI Janemba: NPI Spar
Android 18 didn't e-mail me the spar.

Notes:
Vegita lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,635.

63) Paikuhan vs. NPI Goku: NPI Spar
I didn't give a damn about writing spars this week.

Notes:
Paikuhan won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,639.

62) Tapion vs. Android 17 vs. Bardock: FFA Spar
Bardock and Android 17 set out to get their asses kicked by Tapion. Now don't get me wrong. They had every intention of taking down the titan if you will, but that just isn't realistic. About the only way that those two were going to win was if Tapion didn't show and that is exactly what happened. You see: Tapion just got cable. And this weekend was the Comedy Central Man Show marathon. It started on Sunday at 8:00 AM and went until midnight. Tapion watched them all. Fortunately for him, he had invited Bardock over to watch with him and the two of them watched girls jumping on trampolines and drank beer all day long.

By the end of the day the bathroom was out of toilet paper and the beer was running low. Now to top it all off Android 17 had showed up too. Luckily the Man Show Marathon had ended because Android 17 is really annoying and nothing ruins a great program such as the Man Show like Android 17 showing up. "Hey guys," said 17, "why didn't you guys show up at the spar?" "We were busy," replied Tapion. "Get lost," chimed in Bardock. "I'll kick your butt. You'll never ditch me again Tapion, and you too Bardock. What was so important that you couldn't at least tell me that you weren't going to make it?" the Android asked. "Shut up 17 before I kick your ass. We're watching TV. You wouldn't understand," Bardock replies. "What do you mean I wouldn't understand?" a puzzled 17 asks. "Exactly what I said," Bardock answers.

This last insult was simply too much for Android 17 and he charges the two pathetic males on the couch. Unfortunately for him this charge placed him right in front of the TV. While the Man Show marathon was in fact over, they had changed over to watching the original Shakira video over and over again.

This blockage was simply too much for Tapion who jumped out of his comfy chair and bitch slapped him across the room. That was pretty much all that Android 17 could take and he was down for the count. Tapion then turned to Bardock.

"Should I kick Bardock's ass now as well. My watching experience would be all the better if I didn't have to go to the bathroom. Yet on the other hand, I have enjoyed the male bonding while watching copious scantily clad women on episode after episode of the man show." Yes, all this was running through his head as he faced Bardock sitting on the couch and in his mind allowing Bardock to lived and enjoying another beer and perhaps a Big New Yorker seemed best.

Notes:
Tapion defeated Android 17, but tied Bardock. PL raised by 2,965.
Android 17 was defeated by Tapion. PL raised by 2,493.
Bardock tied Tapion. PL raised by 5,193.

61) Janemba vs. NPI Goku: NPI Spar
Janemba and Goku. Goku and Janemba. The stupidest fighter, and the big marshmallow. Let's see here. Who should win this one. Everybody knows that Goku can't win when Janemba is at his max. But he's not at his max. Goku could win if he mistakenly thought Janemba WAS a marshmallow. Hell, it happened LAST time the site was open. But unfortunately for Goku, he just ate 7614 bowls of tuna-flavored rice with peanut-butter topping. So he was good. Janemba could win simply because Goku's dumb. But while Goku may be utterly stupid, sometimes he IS one mighty powerful Saiya-jin. And besides, everybody knows that good always triumphs over evil. Right? Right. But we can't use that excuse. Well it looks like once again it's time fore the Magic Penny of Seeing.

Oh Magic Penny of Seeing,
Who is the best of these dudes?
The one who's white and fluffy,
Or he who wins all feuds.

I know nothing,
You know all,
Everything depends,
On how you fall.

We worship you,
As you were a god.
I seat you on a throne,
Next to you, a rod.

With your rod and scepter,
We do turn to you,
I flip you in the air,
And the winner of this spar is WHO!?

(flips coin)

THE MAGIC PENNY OF SEEING HAS SPOKEN! ALL HAIL THE MAGIC PENNY OF SEEING FOR ITS ULTIMATE INSIGHT INTO THE UNKNOWN! LET IT BE FOREVER KNOWN THAT ON THIS DAY, THE FOURTH OF MAY, TWO THOUSAND AND THREE, AT THIRTY-NINE MINUTES PAST FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON CENTRAL-DAYLIGHT TIME, JANEMBA BEATS GOKU IN A SPAR WITH A "BOOT TO THE HEAD" (sets the magic penny of seeing back on its throne next to its scepter).

Notes:
Janemba won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 3,603.

60) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph vs. Gohan: FFA Spar
Videl and Rainbow Randolph were enjoying a nice day on the beach. Videl had not too long ago received a phone call from Gohan saying he was leaving town on business. Videl and Gohan's relationship had not been doing so well lately. It just seemed the sparks had gone. "Rainbow, I just don't know what to do anymore. Gohan just doesn't appeal to me as he used to," Videl said as if she had a lot on her mind. Rainbow Randolph just started to go into one of those talk show relationship explanations. After about an hour of Rainbows speeches, Videl asked him to help her put some more sun tan lotion on. Of course Rainbow Randolph complied and began to grease up his hands. Then just as he was about to rub Videl's back a voice shouted. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

Suddenly Gohan came running out from behind some bushes towards Rainbow Randolph and Videl. "I knew you and this Jerk had something going on together. Videl how could you do this me! I loved you!" Gohan whined. Rainbow Randolph just stood up and tried to explain. "Look Gohan! Videl and me are just friends! Seriously!" Rainbow tried to explain. Gohan growled and punched Rainbow in the jaw as hard as he could, but it had no effect at all. "Please Gohan just calm down!" Videl pleaded, but Gohan felt that his Saiya-jin-hood was on the line and he had to knock out Rainbow. So Gohan continued to punch Rainbow as hard as he could, but he was still not causing any damage. "Oh your asking for it buddy! Ka..me..ha..me..HA!" Gohan shouted sending the Kamehameha wave into Rainbow's chest, but still there was no sign of damage. Videl was shaking her head sadly. "Gohan please stop! I have no feelings for Rainbow at all!" Videl tried to explain. "No feelings! Then why we're you with him at that Hentai Convention! Huh!" Gohan argued as he fired a Masenko into Rainbow Randolph's face, but yet again achieved nothing. Videl was quiet for moment then replied, "I was just trying to get out of paying him that month. It meant nothing!" Gohan just growled and begin to punch Rainbow Randolph in the face. Sadly for Gohan he hit Rainbow Randolph in the nose, causing him to sneeze and become his more evil inclined side. Gohan was soon laid to waste by a hard left hook to the face from Randolph.

"You didn't have to hit him so hard. He was just trying to prove himself you know," Videl said to her henchmen who was giving her that look. Randolph quickly pulled Videl to him with his sun tan lotion covered hands "C'mon Videl. You need a real man like me baby. Why don't you let big Randolph here show you what's it like to be spanked," Randolph said pervert-lee, but just as he finished saying that he got a swift knee to the crotch and a powerful kick to the kidneys.

Notes:
Videl defeated Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 10,333.
Rainbow Randolph defeated Gohan. PL raised by 9,152.
Gohan was defeated by Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 4,066.

59) Vegetto vs. NPI Yardartian: NPI Spar
Ah yes, what a beautiful Sunday it was. As Videl sat down at her computer to write the battle that she knew would be great as always, she pondered what she was going to write about. Not ten seconds after double-clicking on the "Microsoft Word" icon, the computer abruptly turned off. "What the hell!!!!???" Screamed the real-life person behind the DBZ character. Figuring the computer was just being gay like computers are known to be, he decided to try again. Once again the computer turned off. Now determined to write the battle, Videl's incarnate self (being me, the writer) turned the computer back on to write the battle. This time, however, all were shocked to see none other than Bill Gate's face appear on the screen. "Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! You silly mortal! Do you honestly think that you would escape my wrath?!" And with that, the computer immediately blew up.

Totally pissed off and singed on all edges due to a computer explosion, Videl then turned to the almighty penny to decide the fate of the spar. Knowing that Vegetto won (the coin toss ended heads), Videl then traipsed on to Vegetto's house to write this (being the battle) on Vegetto's very computer.

Does anybody have a computer for sale? Preferably a Mac!

Notes:
Vegetto won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 16,966.

58) Tares and Brolli vs. Yajirobe vs. Vegita: Spar
Android 18 was unable to write this spar, but (s)he sent in the results. Tares & Brolli fuse into Trolli. Trolli plays around with both Yajirobi and Vegita for a while before getting bored with their slowness and weakness. Although not intentionally doing so, in beating Vegita (I did a die roll for this) he gets killed.

Notes:
Tares helped defeat Yajirobe and Vegita. PL raised by 6,566. He helped kill Vegita.
Brolli helped defeat Yajirobe and Vegita. PL raised by 6,566. He helped kill Vegita.
Yajirobe was defeated by Trolli. PL raised by 6,841.
Vegita was killed by Trolli. PL raised by 6,841. He was sent to Hell.

57) Vegita Ou vs. Bubbles: Sneak Battle
It was a calm and sunny day in the city. People were enjoying the day, having fun, playing games, and doing all that happy neighborhood stuff you see on those happy family sitcoms. But amongst all the joyfulness there is a monkey walking around the streets. He too, is happy.

Bubbles was doing his signature 'raise the roof' walk down the street when he got the distinct feeling somebody was watching him. Bubbles turned around, but nobody was there. So Bubbles continued to do his walk down the street. Just then the bushes rustled and Vegeta Ou peeped his head out and glared at the monkey. "Bubbles! I hate Bubbles!" Vegeta Ou cursed under his breath. No one knew why Vegeta Ou hated Bubbles, but it must have been something pretty serious for him to stalk him in a happy city, like so. Anyhow, back to the stalking of the little monkey.

Slowly Vegeta Ou crept from behind on Bubbles, who wasn't expecting a thing, and snatched the monkey up by the tail. "OOOU OOU EEEK!" Bubbles cried out as Vegeta Ou held him in the air. "I. Hate. Bubbles!" Vegeta Ou growled as he started to swing the monkey like a helicopter above his head. After getting enough momentum, Vegeta Ou threw Bubbles in to a near by tree, completely knocking out the monkey. Vegeta Ou began to laugh at his handy work when suddenly before he knew it, Animal rights activist had surrounded him. "Crap," Vegeta Ou gulped as he began to flee for his life from the mad mob of sign toting activists.

Notes:
Vegita Ou won one Sneak Battle. PL raised by 2,771.
Bubbles lost one Sneak Battle. PL raised by 469.

56) Android 18 vs. NPI Furiza: NPI Spar
Sorry, but I didn't have enough time to write this spar.

Notes:
Android 18 lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,228.

55) Gohan vs. NPI Kuririn: NPI Spar
Apparently Buu also was unable to find the time to write his spar, so I made the results.

Notes:
Gohan won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,487.

54) Vegetto vs. NPI Yardartian: NPI Spar
Instant Transmission. The only reason people visit the Yardartians is for that move, or the occassional Fusion technique, but mostly for IT. Vegetto, like everyone else, wanted to learn IT and had the Yardartians train him in the technique. The Yardartians didn't mind training him because it had become a hobby for them to take on alien strangers as students. I mean, why not? Aren't alien strangers like the best house guests and stuff? Well not in this case, Vegetto had the worst house manners. He had Goku's lack of common sense and Vegeta's ego, where he thought he was better than everyone else. So needless to say, Vegetto left a mess where ever he went, and he didn't even bother to bathe right, he instead would just fill a trash can full of water and sit in it. Don't ask me where he developed this habit from, its just something Goku used to do. So the Yardartians had gotten pretty damn tired of having to clean up after the Saiya-jin and decided to teach Vegetto a lesson.

The next day the Yardartians surprised Vegetto with the biggest feast he had ever seen. Vegetto was so happy to stuff his face he didn't realize the funny taste on the food. After about an hour of eating, Vegetto started to feel funny. His stomach started to gurgle and he felt like his ass was going to explode. The Yardartians had cooked all the food in laxative (don't ask me how they managed this). The building lit up with the bubbly excretions of the fuzed warrior and Vegetto quickly ran out to find a bathroom. Sadly, Vegetto wasn't fast enough and he had one hell of a "accident" before actaully getting to the bathroom. The Yardartians got a good laugh out of this, but then they realized they were going to have to clean up the bathroom in the end anyhow. So truely, no one actually came out on top.

Notes:
Vegetto tied one NPI Spar. PL raised by 9,836.

53) Paikuhan vs. Tapion vs. Android 17: FFA Spar
I always seem to get these silly spars. And people need to start focusing on getting more moves instead of just gaining PL cause writing battles where characters know like 3 moves is just plain uninteresting. While I can't rationalize Android 17 and Paikuhan actually kicking the crap out of Tapion, I can rationalize the two of them running away like cowards with their tails tucked between their legs and screaming like little girls.

Well, actually they aren't running and neither of them are Saiya-jin's so they don't have tails. In fact, the reason Tapion didn't slaughter them is that they cleverly used their ability to fly. Now this didn't just let them get away. Tapion does have a flying nimbus after all, but the problem was that he had left it inside Roshi's house and had to go inside to get it. So after going back inside and rooting through all of the crap that was lying around he came back outside with the nimbus ready to kick some butt.

By this time both Android 17 and Paikuhan had hidden themselves rather effectively. Now that I think about it, they clearly weren't hidden very well at all, or at least Android 17 wasn't hidden very well as Tapion found him in about 17.38254 seconds. For those of you not so well versed in incredibly small amounts of time that is really fast. 17 battled as hard as he could, but simply couldn't match the unbridled power of Tapion. However, being the clever little weird green guy that he is, Paikuhan used this time to better perfect his hiding spot.

Yes, instead of hiding out over the ocean like he had been before he snuck back into Roshi's house and hid in Roshi's room. Now let me tell you, only someone that was truly desperate would ever even consider hiding in Roshi's room. The place is absolutely filthy. I would go on, but this site is at least somewhat populated by kids and well, even college students would find his room disgusting. Lets just say that the room has been well used.

Notes:
Paikuhan tied Tapion. PL raised by 3,789.
Tapion defeated Android 17 and tied Paikuhan. PL raised by 2,611.
Android 17 was defeated by Tapion. PL raised by 1,516.

52) Fat Buu vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
OK!!! THAT'S IT!!!! THIS HAS JUST GOTTEN EXTREMELY RIDICULOUS!!!! WOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW ROSHI IS SUPPOSED TO WIN THIS SPAR???? TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, THIS THING SHOULD BE A 50/50 THING. BUT THE WAY I SEE IT IS THAT THERE'S NO WAY BUU CAN LOSE!!!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT ROSHI IS THE BIGGEST PERV IN THE DRAGONBALL SAGA. AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT BUU HAD TO LEARN THAT DAMNED IROME MOVE!!!!

So here's the deal. I could waste our time with stories about how Roshi is the pimp dog of DB and that he handed Buu's ass to him. But unfortunately, that wouldn't be accurate in this case. In this scenario, Roshi don't stand a chance even in a cold hell. Wait a minute. I just thought of something!!!! It seems to me since Hell froze over last week due to Roshi "releasing some tension" with Shakira, he'd have some immunity to the effects of IROME. Now let's go with this now. That being the case, if Buu were to use his Irome on Roshi, he could somewhat counter it by the fact that he took care of business last week.

No, that won't work. Because as all men know, while absence does make the heart grow fonder, you don't know what you're missing till you've had it. So we can't go that route. Hold on. I got another idea to even things out. Buu never e-mailed me. Now normally that wouldn't matter all that much since this IS an NPI spar. But in THIS scenario, it gives the NPI a GREAT disadvantage. And since I'm the battle writer for this, and I don't know what Buu would want to do, I can just refrain from using it. Right? OK!! Now let's get to the story.

After the incident with Shakira last week, Roshi was having a terrible time in court. Shakira had decided to get all of Roshi's money out of the courts, being the sneaky mega-superstar bitch that she is. Mind you I'm taking NOTHING away from her looks, just her personality. It is well known that all rich women are bitches. But she quickly learned that he had no money, so she decided the next best thing was to press charges. I believe the exact charges were, "forced entry" and "false advertising" because while she WAS blindfolded, she DID give in to whomever she was with, regret it though she may. The forced entry charge was quickly dismissed because everybody knows about Shakira's little thing about letting men hunt for chocolate, and therefore there would be no need to "force entry." Besides, due to her past experience, unless an elephant were involved, there would be no evidence of such an act. But there WAS a good case for the "false advertising" aspect of the case. And wouldn't you know it, she just HAD to get Johnny Cochran to help her out with this.

The jury was in NO way, shape, or form going to convict Roshi for the "false advertising" charge simply by saying he was going to get her with a hot friend of his. Since they were all also very old horny men, they all knew that that was the only way to get a hot woman into your love shack. However, the jury was shocked to find out that Roshi had bragged about the size of "little Roshi" and had been accused of falsifying measurements. According to testimony, Shakira had been expecting BIG BEN and received TINY TIM. They still weren't convinced, since all knew Shakira had been around the block enough times to have her judgement skewed. Much like driving a Semi for years, then hopping into a Cadillac, the car just feels really small. Here the same principal applies. But after a little show-and-tell session in the courtroom, Mr. Cochran's closing argument would be remembered for millennia for the phrase, "If the rubber doesn't fit, you just cannot acquit." And Roshi was quickly sent to jail for 6 days. The judge showed Roshi leniency partially BECAUSE of the show-and-tell.

But here we are on day #4 of Roshi's jail sentence, with Buu staring at the old pervert through that stereotypical bulletproof glass pane, arguing over the method of training while Roshi was in jail. Needless to say, they got into a fight, and both pounded on the bulletproof glass until they were blue in the face and passed out tired, at which point Bubba carried Roshi back to his cell, and a guard picked up Buu off the floor, staring lovingly at Buu's backside (Irome in full effect). Both Roshi AND Buu woke up the next morning feeling pretty bad, and both asking for some hemorrhoid cream.

Notes:
Fat Buu tied one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,391.

51) Vegita Ou vs. NPI Tenshinhan: NPI Spar
Vegita Ou has been recently training with Tien trying to master yet another move. In fact, he's been training a lot with Tien. If it was that this site was not a gladiator site, but a dating website, I would begin to wonder if Vegita Ou had a crush on Tien. I mean seriously, if he didn't have a crush on him, he obviously thinks pretty highly of Tien, he almost knows everyone of his moves.

Anyways, as it turned out Vegita Ou does have a crush on Tien, and the only reason he's been learning all of Tien's moves is because he's been trying to convince Tien to go on at least ONE date with him. Just one. That's all he wants. And since immitation is the best form of ass-kissing, he figured why not learn most of Tien's moves and flatter him a bit.

Well as luck has it Tien has an amazing lover already, Chaozu. So, it has been quite difficult for Vegita Ou to get Tien to go out with him. He tried the suttle approach and just being nice and asking, "Hey, you want to hang out sometime, sexy?" He tried being demanding, "Yo, three eyes, let's chill!" He even tried being nice, and buy him gifts. When he was at the ever popular K-mart, that isn't going out of business every where, he found a pair of sunglasses that would have looked great on Tien. But when he gave them to Tien he just thought that it was a prank since he had three eyes and threw Vegita Ou out of his house.

By now, Vegita Ou was desperate to get some action from Tien (it's just gross writing that) and went to the extreme. He decided to go online and pose as a young hot female with busty boobs to get Tien's attention, and then sent a pic of some random hentai girl he found on any old website that Master Roshi told him about. Well as luck would have it for Vegita Ou, Tien fell for it and said okay to going out on a date with him... err her. So in the end of this romantic love story Vegita Ou finally got his date with Tien, now he just needs to find a way to look like that damn hentai girl.

Notes:
Vegita Ou won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,456.