To battle, e-mail me. If you beat your opponent in battle, you can steal zeni, items, and/or one dragonball if you are evil. If you are neutral, you can also take these things, but you will get less. If you are good, you can only take a dragonball.

50) Gohan vs. NPI Kuririn: NPI Spar
Somewhere on the cold, dark Earth,
One man stands supreme,
Nothing but the wind disturbing his victory.

Gohan, the halfling, has won the day
Over the bald, no nosed man named Kuririn.
However, no victory comes without loss,
As the teen holds his tail as his side,
Never to turn Oozaru again.

Well, at least until the next time
I am able to roll a 33 or less on
Numbered dice equaling 100.
Such is the case with being Saiya-jin.

And as always, the
Future cannot be seen or
Told until it becomes the past.
Essentially, it might take months before I
Roll another 33 or less.

Getting back on track,
Oozaru is quite powerful and
In a spar against a weak, bald Human,
Not even the dumbest of
Gentlemen would bet on Kuririn.

Of course, there are too many idiots
On this planet called Earth and the Human is a
Z-Warrior, which makes people think of Goku
And the bunch. However, Kururin is the comedy
Relief, and as such has but one
Unique power: the ability to make people laugh.

Notes:
Gohan won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,862.

49) Vegita vs. NPI Dabura: NPI Spar
Since the last time these two fighters have had a confrontation, they have been very cautious with their bathroom use. Vegita makes sure he is the only one around when he fires torpedoes, and Dabura tries to go give birth to submarines when Vegita is off trying to make something stoned. Dabura in fact has actually hidden the TP from Vegita at times so he could not use Dabura's facilities. So Vegita is running around outside spitting on stuff, and all the sudden (when you're climbing up a ladder) he feels something splatter....DIAREAHA! Dabura was sitting around meditating or something when Vegita runs in the house with one hand blasting through the doors, and the other clenching his ass shut. He runs into the bathroom and goes to squat his duece when, at the last moment, he realizes that there is no TP!!! He runs out and starts screaming at Dabura for the TP... Dabura replies, "That is my bathroom, and I decide who uses it and only I know where the TP is hidden." Dabura turns and quickly starts to walk away when Vegita notices a huge round TP roll-like lump in Dabura's back pocket. Vegita, in extreme pain right now since his butt cheeks have beeen pinching a quarter for the past 5 minutes, blasts a galick-ho right into the back of Dabura's head. Vegita rips the TP out of Dabura's pants and proceeds to stain the toilet with a triple flusher special.

Notes:
Vegita won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,519.

48) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Having trained, lived, and faught together and against each other so many times, Videl and Rainbow Randolph decide that instead of actually fighting, they would have a sing off to see who wins. Obviousely, Rainbow Randolph is extremely confident knowing that he's the only one with any actual proven talent in this area. Rainbow Randolph then breaks out into song to start things off. "The Hilllllls are aliiive, with the sound of musiiiic, etc." In reply Videl arcs up with Teenage Dirtbag, "Oh I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby, listen to Iron Maiden baby ... etc." Rainbow Randolph cant help but fall to the ground in agony as his ears start to bleed from Videl's terrible singing. "I GIVE UP!!" Rainbow Randolph screamed. with Rainbow Randolph incapacitated and unable to sing Videl wins by default. Lucky her.

Notes:
Videl won one Spar. PL raised by 17,038.
Rainbow Randolph lost one Spar. PL raised by 3,871.

47) Vegetto vs. NPI Yardartian: NPI Spar
Oh come on people like this is even legitimate. If I make the battle a real fight Vegetto is just going to cream the Yardartians as they have like no PL and if I make it anything else they will just cream Vegetto as Goku is involved in the fusion and he is just dumb. How could anyone legitimately request this battle? And worse yet, how could such a great writer as myself be assigned it. Couldn't we just give it to that Videl loser? I mean, I know she's a female character in the series and all, but she isn’t hot so whichever one of you losers picked her really should have chosen a better character.

Anyways, back to complaining about having to write this battle. On second thought, I’m done complaining and Vegetto wins: that's my story and I’m sticking with it.

Notes:
Vegetto won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 12,043.

46) Tares vs. NPI Blue Ogre: NPI Spar
As Tares woke up on Sunday, he noticed that it was an unusually cold day in the Home For Infinite Losers, AKA Hell. And this rather scared the warrior. He had heard about the strange events that occurred when hell froze over or on "cold days in hell" and did not like how the day’s forecast bode. The orange ogre (the local weatherman) had said that it would be temperate, with the possibility of a soothing brisk rain. The problems with that were that firstly, the orange ogre NEVER got it on the money, and secondly this morning was anything but temperate. In fact, Tares was just now trying to roll out of his bed, and had been presented with the problem of trying to un-stick his tongue from his bedpost with little success. That’s when the Blue Ogre walked in.

"Well, it’s about time for your training. Are you ready, old boy?" BO said as he noticed the Sayia-jin’s dilemma. "Buwa bung eh bup bu buh bebofhpt," Tares replied. Well, BO knew what he meant, but he decided to have a little fun. You see, it WAS a cold day in hell, so the ogres tend to be VERY big jokesters on such days. "I can’t understand a word you’re saying with your tongue stuck to that pole there." And as BO reached down to ‘help’ Tares, he yelled, "MOW!!! Bone ewb be! Beev bi!!! YEOOOOWWWW!!!!! THAT HURT!" and Tares quickly realized that BO was giggling rather hysterically at him. This didn’t sit very well with Tares. And with his tongue rather numb and without skin, he quickly decided that he was going to lay off the food today and not eat. It was at that moment that it dropped below 32º. Hell had then officially frozen over.

"So when are we going to spar?" asked BO. "Well, I really don’t feel like sparring." And immediately Tares was astonished as to what was coming out of his mouth, but it was almost like he couldn’t control it.

Snow started to fall.

"Hey," Tares pointed out, "why don’t we just take a walk in the snow? If it snows enough we can build snow men!" Tares couldn’t believe it! He HATED snow, and yet he had this strange notion to make snow-angels. As the snow started to fall really hard, BO started to wonder about this Tares fellow. At first when he had started training this guy, he’d thought he was a great warrior, but now he just thought he was a loser. "Wait a minute," BO said, "I thought you LIKED to spar. Besides I was getting excited about the possibility of a spar." "Nah, I just want to run around in this beautiful snow!!!!" Tares returned. At that point, the wind was blowing furiously, and Tares and BO could barely see each other due to the intensity of the snow. "Has it ever snowed this much down here?" asked Tares. "No, it’s never been this bad! You know we may want to go inside to get out of this. It’s getting really cold, and I think we need to get some fire working." BO responded, as they went to the nearest building. "I wonder why it’s snowing so very much down here." Tares pondered as they shut the door to the hut with a fireplace." Here’s where the fun began.

Firewood had been placed in the corner of the small cabin, care taken to keep it away from the fireplace. And Tares and BO both placed wood in the fireplace and BO was just about ready to light it when Tares yelled, "NO, that’s not how you do it!!!!" taking the match from BO. "What?" he said, pushing Tares. "STOP IT!" Tares returned, shoving BO out of the way. Now this general process continued for about an hour or so before both trainer and trainee were rolling around on the ground like a couple of school children. As luck would have it, the fireplace was one of those gas-powered ones. And when BO threw the chair at Tares, he blocked it, sending the chair into the fireplace and breaking the gas nozzle, which then proceeded to spill out gaseous gas into the small cabin.

Eventually Tares threw BO out the door and into the snow. Already there was a foot of snow, and Tares wanted to get this little spat over with and light his fire so that he could just sit down, and enjoy the light of the fire, and the beauty of the snow, and decided he’d use his energy blast, planning on blowing BO into the next next next dimension. There was one problem. When he released the energy blast, its heat lit the match, and the match reacted with the gas-filled cabin. And before the energy blast got close to BO, the cabin exploded, and resembling a weird-looking rocket, flew up out of hell, landing on Snake Way, leaving a heavily charred, and totally knocked out Tares in Hell surrounded by a 4-block wide circle of melted snow. BO was pleased to find out that he had only singed hairs, while Tares breathing lightly on the ground.

This explosion was heard in all dimensions. King Kai paused briefly in his studies to ponder the loud BOOM. Chi Chi stopped scolding Gohan briefly about his studies to wonder about the event. And Master Roshi was scared out of his wits, and jumped totally naked out of his bed, onto the floor. A totally naked (and blindfolded) Shakira took off her blindfold to see what happened, looked at Roshi and screamed! At that very moment, the temperature in Hell Raised by 100º.

Notes:
Tares lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,813.

45) Yajirobe vs. NPI Blue Ogre: NPI Spar
As hell starts to defrost and the Blue Ogre wipes the remaining snow from his body, Yajirobe decides its time to prove that he's the power down here in hell. He ain't going to be no-one's bitch. With the Z-Sword in hand, he feels invincible. Creeping up slowly and as quietly as you can in snow, Yajirobe gets the jump on our unsuspecting friend the Blue Ogre, slamming him face first into the quickly fading snow.

"WHAT IN HFIL NAME DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING??" yelled the Blue Ogre as he got up. "That's going to leave a bruise," he said rubbing the tender spot. Thinking on his feet for a change, Yajirobe yelled "Speed Upgrade" as he grabbed the pointy end of his sword and again slammed it into Blue Ogre's head forcing him down to the ground in agony.

"OK, OK, before you hit me again could you at least tell me what your attacking me for?" Blue Ogre pleaded just before recieving the knock out blow. "Now no-one will mess with me. Unless...."

Notes:
Yajirobe won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,401.

44) Oolong vs. NPI Puaru: NPI Spar
Oolong decided to spar against Puaru in a bid to increase his pathetically small PL. His previous spar against Roshi had ended in a tragic upset that lost him his most prized pair of panties. Although Oolong had gotten Roshi back by stealing some of his hentai, things just still didn't feel right for Oolong. And so he figured that he would pick on Oolong to increase his self-esteem. "I picked on him in shape changing school and I can pick on him now. It will be just like old times," said Oolong to himself. "Now, where is that shifty little cat? Ah ha, there he is. That little punk: I'm going to kick his ass so hard he'll wish we were still in Kindergarten so our teacher, Mrs. White, would come and save him."

"What do you want Oolong? I'm busy pinning away for unrequited love Yamcha. He's off with some watery tart again," Puaru says. "I'm going to kick your ass Puaru. I've had a horrible week and now you're going to pay the price. So how about you just make it easy for yourself and let me get in a few punches. I'll even hold them back a bit so you don’t hurt so much when it is all over," replies Oolong. "No way! You big dork, I'm not gonna let you pound on me. We're not in kindergarten and I can fight back now," the cat replies. "Well, I guess if you want to do things the hard way we can, but you're just making it worse on yourself. I mean, I really want what is best for you within this limited set of options, but I can't help you unless you are willing to help yourself and the way things are going right now you're gonna end up being nursed back to health by Lunch. And while nice Lunch would be a plus, evil lunch is really best avoided," the little piggy says with a grin. "Shut up you pervert!" shouts Puaru. "I'll teach you to call me a pervert, you stupid cat!" replies Oolong. "Oh yeah?" Puaru asks. "Yeah," Oolong states. "And if that's the way you're gonna be, you're just asking for it," Oolong adds. "Oh, am I?" Puaru says with a smile.

Instead of responding Oolong looses his temper and rips the panties he was wearing off of his head and charges Puaru, panties swinging as a weapon. A few short strides later he smacks Puaru right in the face knocking him unconscious. Now you see, the attack wasn’t really all that strong, but mind you it was conducted with a pair of panties, and unlike Oolong who is a dirty, dirty pervert, Puaru is simply unaccustomed to such feminine paraphernalia and as such was unable to cope with the shock. So in fact winning this scuffle has nothing to do with Oolongs ability as a fighter, but everything to do with his status as a pervert. Aren't we all proud of Oolong?

Notes:
Oolong won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 2,042.

43) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph vs. Tapion vs. Paikuhan vs. Android 18 vs. Janemba: FFA Spar
"Welcome! Come one, come all, to the 1st Annual Roshi Island Hentai Extravaganza!" an announcer blares over a PA. "We've got several guest stars here today, including Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears, who as I'm sure you all know are the stars of the number one selling video of all time! Shakira is also here, promoting her new album, Sounds of a Long Summer Night. Featuring the talents several other well known artists, make sure to pick up your copy before you leave cause it's an excellent CD. Also make sure to check out table #12, where Sarah Michelle Gellar is signing copies of her most recent success, Busty, the Necrophiliac Slayer. For those that enjoy fine art, make sure to attend the Painting With Panties seminar at 2 o'clock in room 102," the man continues.

Videl, Rainbow Randolph, Tapion, Paikuhan, Android 18, and Janemba stand in the middle of the show room, staring in awe at the sheer number of perverted people attending the convention. Videl had agreed to attend with Rainbow Randolph, who said she wouldn't have to pay him next month if she went as his girlfriend. Well, seeing as how Gohan decided to leave her behind on the island, she thought it would be alright. 18 decided to attend in hopes that she could aquire something to improve her marriage. Janemba, a demon mind you, attended to find some school girls for...well, I'll let you figure that out yourself. Tapion, after finally being released from like a 1000 year imprisonment, was just flat out horny. However, Paikuhan felt out of place. The warrior from the west galaxy has long been celibate, burying his emotions deep within his harsh exterior.

This display of sensuality pisses Paikuhan off to no end. Deciding that this convention is completely unmoral and illogical. Making his way towards the door, he is stopped by Tapion. "Where do you think you're going?" the Konack asks. "I'm leaving. This place is just a cesspool for evil. You of all people should agree," he says, staring coldly into Tapion's eyes. Releasing his arm, Tapion vows to get Paikuhan laid.

Anyway, by now the small group of warriors has broken up, heading their own ways. Randolph and Videl stop by a merchant's booth and look through some magazines. Videl pretends to look away all embarrassed-like; however, as we all know, women are ten times more perverted than men. After buying a couple of magazines, Randolph leads a screaming Videl by the arm to another booth, where a young blonde woman is displaying some S&M garb.

Elsewhere in the croud, 18 has purchased some videos and other apparel, Janemba's search has come up empty, and Tapion continues his search for the perfect woman to break Paikuhan. The choices number in the hundreds, but the Brave One must find the perfect girl. If she's too shy, he won't fall for it; too forward and he'll escape into his shell; too pretty and he'll probably stutter her to death; too ugly and he'll run. "Wait a second. I don't even know what type of girl a green-skinned, no nosed, no eared person would like," Tapion says to himself. After looking around frantically, he came up with the perfect idea....

Back in the Kame House, Paikuhan is resting on the couch. No one else is around, they were all at the convention. Thus, he is all alone....watching reruns of MASH....completely bored out of his mind. Flipping the channel to a rerun of the X-Files, Paikuhan hears a soft knock at the door. "Who the heck could that be? Everyone just comes and goes as they please around here. No one knocks," Paikuhan says to himself as he walks to the door. Throwing it open, Paikuhan finds the box office girl standing in the doorway....

Anyway, several hours later the group returns from the convention with lots of memorabilia to find the Kame House seemingly hit by a tornado.... Exhausted from being pulled around like a dog on a chain, Videl plops down on the couch and takes a nap. "What the hell happened here?" Randolph asks. Tapion grins and walks out the door, whistling a little tune.

Notes:
Videl was defeated by Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 1,868.
Rainbow Randolph defeated Videl and tied Tapion, Android 18, and Janemba. PL raised by 21,861.
Tapion defeated Paikuhan and tied Rainbow Randolph, Android 18, and Janemba. PL raised by 9,443.
Paikuhan was defeated by Tapion. PL raised by 717.
Android 18 tied Rainbow Randolph, Tapion, and Janemba. PL raised by 6,781.
Janemba tied Rainbow Randolph, Tapion, and Android 18. PL raised by 8,224.

42) Brolli vs. NPI Red Ogre: NPI Spar
Hell. What brings everyone there? Well I tell you why Brolli happened to come there. Cue to flashback and sound the twinkle sounding music.

"I can’t believe a boy band beat us!" Tares said to Brolli. Brolli growls and punches the ground of the next dimension. "We have to kill them some how! Our Saiya-jin heritage was disgraced by their fruity dance moves!" Brolli shouted.

Later that week after receiving an letter from the red ogre in hell which read:

Dear Brolli and Tares... I know a way for you to defeat the boy band, N*Sync! You need the Z-sword! The most powerful weapon in the universe! Come to Hell and take the sword from the godly sumari who wields it and with its power you will be unstoppable...

"Hey Tares looks like we have to go to Hell and get that sword." Brolli says and Tares nods. "Big Bang Kamehameha!" "Kikoho!" Brolli and Tares annihilate each other with their massive blasts and arrive in hell. Immediately they search out the godly Sumari, Yajirobe. They find him sleeping under a tree with the Z-sword in hand. They both look at each other and then at the sleeping sumari. "That damn Ogre feed us some serious bull dookie. Look at him, he’s not some super powerful warrior with a legendary sword. He’s just a chubby human!" Brolli cursed.

End flash back and we return to present time, where we see Brolli stomping out a bruised red Ogre with a sword scar in his back. "You lying red mofo. How dare you bring me down here for nothing!" Brolli exclaimed.

All in all, the Ogre’s plan for revenge on Yajirobe for throwing a sword in his back failed and he just got beat up by Brolli. See where revenge gets you people? Thats right, Hell. That is where you end up.

Notes:
Brolli won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 10,606.

41) Vegita vs. NPI Dabura: NPI Spar
Vegita, taking a little break from his work out with Dabura on the shitter, contemplates on the thought of being able to turn people to stone. "It's going to be so great, everyone is going to be so STONED" (ploop) "Yeah, everyone is going to feel the wrath of the prince of all Saiya-jins, Mwhahahahaha!" Dabura barges in shouting, "Are you done yet?" "Hey man, what does this look like, get the hell outta here, I'll be done in a sec." Dabura responds, "This is my bathroom and I want you out now!" Vegita replies, "Forget you." (fires a blast) Vegita quickly pulls up his pants and charges at Dabura. Dabura, thinking to himself, "ewwww he didn't wash his hands." Dabura starts running off with Vegita chasing behind him. "Get back here," shouts Vegita. Dabura quickly dashes forward a bit and turns around sending a ball of energy towards Vegita. Vegita stops and charges his galick-ho, "HAAAAAA!." The two send their balls of energy toward each other. They collide and each use their mental ability to try to overpower each other. Suddenly the balls repel back to each character knocking them the f*ck out.

Notes:
Vegita tied one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,222.

40) Vegita Ou vs. Android 17: Spar
Vegita Ou had been growing more and more angry everytime he saw Android 17. "Who the hell does he think he is anyways, walking around like he's a human. He's a frigin robot, for God's sake." I bet you are all wondering why Vegita Ou hated 17 right? Well it all started when Vegita Ou was a little boy.

Vegita Ou's mother used to tell him not to play with guns and he always listened. So he went around manipulating ki and what not just doing what a normal elite Saiya-jin does. Then just recently this stupid Android came up to him and gave him a lame ass joke. "Hey Vegita Ou, feel my arm muscles." So Vegita Ou, being the noisy person he is, grabbed 17's bicep. Just as he grabbed his arm, 17 told him "Didn't your mama ever tell you not to play with guns" and then ran off laughing his little head off.

Now if you know Vegita Ou like I do, you know that he is a bit of a mama's boy, so when 17 told him that he was playing with guns he took him seriously, because who knows what an Android is made out of. All week the Saiya-jin had been sucking up to his mother, trying to make it up to her for not listening. Now, if your mother is anything like Vegita Ou's you realize how annoying she can be and frankly, it was pissing Vegita Ou off.

So, he finally found his chance to attack 17 today. He ran out in front of him and smacked him and told him that he did listen to his mother. 17, not realizing what was happening, just stood there in awe. Vegita Ou saw this as an oppurtunity to take out the Android and powered up a kikiho attack, knocking the Android out completly.

Notes:
Vegita Ou won one Spar. PL raised by 1,050.
Android 17 lost one Spar. PL raised by 347.

39) Tares vs. Brolli vs. Vegita: FFA Battle
Fat Buu had a major test to study for and wasn't able to write the battle. The results are as follows, given to me by Buu himself. "Vegita gets ignored because his attacks can't do any real damage and Tares and Brolli break virtually every bone in each others body. Both Brolli and Tares to get sent from the ND to Hell. Vegita lost since he failed to do any damage what-so-ever."

Notes:
Tares tied Brolli. PL raised by 6,465. He was sent to Hell.
Brolli tied Tares. PL raised 6,051. He was sent to Hell.
Vegita lost one Battle. PL raised 685.

38) Gohan vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
"AAARGGGHHH!! What the heck! Where did all this sand come from? Did a hurricane blow through while I was asleep?" Roshi shouted as he woke up. Both his favorite hentai magazine, the February issue of Peach Girl, and himself were covered in a blanket of sand. Unbeknownst to him, Janemba had kicked the sand all over him, annoyed that the old man would rather sleep than fight. Looking for a reason for his current state of coverage, a figure in the corner of his eye caught his attention. "Kame....hame....ha!" Gohan shouts as he brings his hands forward, launching a large beam of energy over the horizon. "That's it! Gohan did this to me. He must have seen me hitting on Videl... Maybe he was trying to bury me alive in hopes that this old charmer would be out of the way. Hmm, maybe I should off him, then steal his girlfriend away," Roshi thinks with a wide grin. "Wait a tick, I'm not a mobster, am I? Cause I sure am sounding like one. Hmm, maybe I need to stop watching those Godfather marathons on AMC."

Meanwhile, Gohan continues his training, launching Kamehameha after Kamehameha over the ocean waters. What does the Kamehameha wave have to do with learning Zanzoken? Good question. Um, look over there *points to the right and scampers off once you look away*. Anyway, by now Roshi has brushed the sand off his magazine and clothing. While attempting to get off his deck chair, he slips on some sand and accidently falls out of it, landing flat on his face. Popping to his feet, he rubs a large red area. "Ow ow ow ow," he says. "Grr. This is all Gohan's fault. Had he not blasted sand all over me, I would have just had a perfectly normal trip to the bathroom." Roshi adjusts his sunglasses, then begins walking over to Gohan, who has graduated to Masenko training. Anyway, to make a long story short, Roshi catches Gohan off guard, nailing him in the Son family jewels. Rolling around in agony, Gohan can't help but wonder just what caused the old man to do such a thing. Roshi kicks some sand on the paralyzed Human-Saiya-jin hybrid, then heads to the toilet.

Notes:
Gohan lost one Spar. PL raised by 477.

37) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Videl and Rainbow Randolph were enjoying there time at popular Roshi Isles. They met and beat up so many new faces; it was fun for them. Rainbow Randolph had gotten pretty strong for a henchman and he had e-mailed all his friends back home telling them of his accomplishments. Everything seemed great but Rainbow Randolph had started to develop a unique disorder. Whenever he sneezed he would feel like a different person and he had started to sneeze a lot lately since it was spring. There were only a few trees at Roshi’s Island, but those trees produced tons of plant semen and who could have guessed Rainbow Randolph was allergic to it.

One breezy day, while Rainbow Randolph and Videl were training, Rainbow Randolph allergies started to act up. "I really hate this pollen! I can’t stand it Videl! My eyes are burning, my nose running, and worst of all, I think I hear voices in my head!" Rainbow Randolph complained. Videl just told him to get over it and stop being so wimpy. Rainbow Randolph was about to agree, when he suddenly sneezed. "Wimpy!? Who the *beep* are you calling wimpy!? You think you can take me *beep*!?" Rainbow Randolph shouted. Videl was shocked by this sudden outburst, and then she realized she was the master and he was the henchman, and was just about to tell him off when he sneezed again. "Oh Videl, I’m so sorry for saying those potty mouth words to you. Please forgive me. I only want to see you be happy." Rainbow Randolph said with a gentle smile. "Rainbow Randolph? Are you ok?" Videl asked even more confused now. "Yes I feel fine and could you please just call me Rainbow. I like that better cause I like to think of myself as a glorious rainbow full of beautiful colors." Rainbow said waving his arms to the sky like a bird. Videl just looked at him questionably and just before she was going to suggest getting back to training, Rainbow sneezed again. "*beep beep beep beep* and your daddy too, you *beep beep beep* you can kiss by big hairy *beep* if you think I’m going spend any more *beep* time working under your spoiled bratty *beep beep*!" Rainbow Randolph cursed. Videl had never been so insulted in her life.

*Achooo* "Boy my sinuses are acting up really bad. Well I don’t mind it so such let's just get back to training." Rainbow Randolph said with a sigh. Poor guy didn’t even see the fist coming when Videl knocked him out.

Notes:
Videl won one Spar. PL raised by 5,706.
Rainbow Randolph lost one Spar. PL raised by 2,362.

36) Janemba vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
It was a warm April day on Master Roshi's Island. The sun was shining and a light breeze was blowing over the calm ocean as Master Roshi was instructing Janemba in how to use the Kamehameha. After a couple of hours of Master Roshi's odd training, Janemba got bored with Master Roshi's technique and asked him for a fight. Master Roshi accepts Janemba's invitation and the two of them stand opposite each other staring at each other, neither one wanting to move or blink first. Master Roshi's composure is amazing, ecspecially for an old man, never seeming to blink... or moving for that matter. A drop of sweat starts to roll down Janemba's face wich as all the staring fans out there would know is the beginning of the end. Another drop slowly rolls frmom his forehead and past his eyes, Janemba is losing things fast here, pretty soon he'll have to blink. Time passes slowly as even more sweat starts to poor from Janemba's head as he trys hard not to blink. But all too soon Janemba is the first to blink. Janemba takes a moment to regain his composure before lining up again to beat Master Roshi at staring. After another 15 minutes Janemba realizes that Master Roshi's eyes are just painted onto his glasses and Master Roshi is actually asleep standing up. Peeved with this, Janemba yells, making Master Roshi jump. "What??" Roshi asks as he changes glasses. "For real this time," Janemba angrily states. "For real," replies Roshi. After a short time has past Janemba gets bored with staring and secretly opens a vortex portal passing his index finger through it tapping Master Roshi on his left shoulder, quickly pulling his finger back out and closing the portal. When Master Roshi looked around, Janemba did the same to his right shoulder. Master Roshi started to get pretty annoyed with Janemba's trick and goes in search of his staff.

He looks in its secret hiding place and it's gone, so he searches the whole island; up in the trees; under all the rocks; behind the pile of hentai mags in the toilet; behind the toilet roll pile; EVERYWHERE. But it was nowhere to be found. He didn't even think at all to look in Tapion's bag before giving up. Disheartened by not being able to smack someone upside the head with his staff, Master Roshi strolled out to his deck chair before going to sleep.

Meanwhile...

Janemba is still waiting for his fight. "AAAARGHHH!! Where is he??" complained Janemba before roaming quickly quickly around the island to find Master Roshi. And find him Janemba did, sleeping happily on his deck chair. Janemba steals Master Roshi's H Mag before asking "What are you doing??" Master Roshi wakes up saying, "I give up. You win." Janemba started to think about complaining about this before thinking better of it and just accepting the win. Before leaving Janemba kicks some sand on Master Roshi covering his belly and magazine in a light haze. Being asleep, Master Roshi doesn't notice the sand until much later in the day when he finally got up to go to the toilet. "AAARGGGHHH!!"

Notes:
Janemba won one Spar. PL raised by 1,212.

35) Tares and Brolli vs. N*Sync: Boss Battle
"Backstreet's back, alright!" a choir of voices sings out over the night time air. "Idiots! That's the wrong freaking song! It's not even one of ours!" a blonde-haired guy shouts. "I knew there was a reason I left the group!" The four others, Lance, Chris, Joey, and JC, hang their heads in shame. "Now, let's try this again! And this time, no more Backstreet Boys songs!" Justin Timberlake commands. "Bu..bu...but they're so much more talented than us!" Lance replies. "Yeah, we only have three CDs, but they have four!" JC chimes in. "They even have their own personal leer jet!" Joey adds. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you guys have me. And with me, you'll always be better than them. Cause I dated Britney Spears and I'm the bomb," Timberlake replies. "Notice the past tense on that," Chris says. "Yeah, remember, you dated her," Lance stabs. "Oh shut up, at least I can say I've banged Britney. None of you posers can," Justin says. "Now, let's get back to work. We need to get a new CD out or else our record label might drop us!"

Off in the distance, two Saiya-jins watch in awe. "How in the hell can five grown men dance around like that, singing crappy love songs in harmony?" Tares asks Brolli. "Hell if I know, but if we kill them, we'll probably get a bunch of fansites dedicated to us on the net," Brolli says. "Dude, you already have a bunch of those," Tares replies. "True, I guess I'm just that damn good," Brolli says while chuckling a bit. "Bah, if only people knew how much better I am than that damn Goku. Then I'd be a remembered character and he'd be the one without a single fansite," Tares says to himself. "Heh, well we can't all be the bomb, can we?" Brolli asks, a coy little grin forming at the corner of his mouth. "Oh shut up and get over yourself. You died just as easily as I did," Tares says, growing a little angry. "Ha! You got beaten up by a child Gohan! I mean, come on! A low-level, Saiya-jin child kicked your sorry ass!" Brolli responds, breaking into laughter. "He was Oozaru at the time. It's not like I had any real chance," Tares says. "Besides, why is it that the Legendary Super Saiya-jin couldn't even kill two measly low-level Saiya-jin children on his own? As I recall, Trunks and Goten seemed to mearly toy with you during your little encounter," Tares says with a smirk. Brolli growls a bit, but doesn't respond. After a few minutes, Tares breaks the silence. "So, shall we get this over with?" Brolli nods and they both jump to their feet.

"Good, now jump, spin, and kick. Excellent. Jump, spin, kick. Good job," Timberlake tells his group. "Well, this new routine is going great. I told you I'm the shit." The other four just shake their heads slightly, forming a disgusted look on their faces. As they go back to work with the dance, a bright, white light forms on the horizon, sending a wave of goose bumps over Timberlake's skin. "Um, what's that?" Joey asks. "Looks kinda like a nuke going off," Lance says. "No. I know what that is. It's the result of a fusion of two people," Justin replies. "Fusion? What's that?" JC asks. "It's a move that allows two people to become one," Justin explains. "So what, it's out of the Kama Sutra?" Lance asks. "Um, no... It's a move like our ability to fly," Justin says. "We can fly?!?" Chris asks in shock. A large water drop appears on the other four's heads. "Be ready boys, there's going to be some action here in a minute," Justin says, pulling a small device out of his pocket and placing it on his face. "What the hell is that?" Joey asks. "Something called a scouter. I picked it up at Blah*Mart on sale," Timberlake explains. Justin pushes a button on the side of it and a small beep is heard. "Hmm, 87,347. That's pretty high. Better keep my guard up," Justin thinks to himself.

"So, um, what do you mean by action? Is a bus load of good looking college girls going to show up here soon?" Lance asks, a smile forming. "No you idiot, a fig..." Before Justin can finish the sentence, a long, black-haired man blurs into view right in front of him. The fusion between Tares and Brolli, an Italian Saiya-jin named Tarolli, throws a white, powdery substance at Justin, then blurs out of view again. "Ahhh! I've been exposed to Anthrax! God help the world! They're going to lose Justin Timberlake!" Justin screams. The rest of the group just stands there, an eyebrow raised on each of their faces. "Wait a second, what is this stuff?" Justin asks. He brushes a bit of it off his shirt and sniffs it. "Well, it's definetly not cocaine. Er, I mean, I wouldn't know if it was or anything, but, um, well, nevermind," Justin says while shifting his eyes all sneaky-like.

Anyway, at this time Tarolli reappears about a hundred feet off the ground, drawing the attention of the entire group. Raising his hands to his face, he shouts "Taiyoken!" However, nothing seems to happen. "Nice. What's that supposed to be?" JC asks. "Oh I know! It's their call sign! Like Spoon was to the Tick! Spoooooon!" Chris shouts. "Okay, someone's watched too much television," Lance says. "Fuck. It's night time. Taiyoken only works when the sun's out. I'm an idiot," Tarolli whispers to himself. "At least they seem to be distracted with each other." The fused Saiya-jin raises an arm to the group and unleashes a barrage of small energy blasts. As the blasts from the Renzoku Energy Dan fall towards the unsuspecting group, Tarolli notices something: Timberlake isn't amongst the group. "Shit! Where did he disappear to?" Tarolli thinks as his eyes widen. Just then he hears the taletell high pitched bluring sound of Zanzoken. As Tarolli slowly turns his head, Justin shouts "Time Freeze" and stops everything in its tracks.

After a quick dance of victory, Justin begins beating down on Tarolli. Jump, spin, kick. Punch, punch, kick. Arm thrust, pelvic thrust, kick. Slap! Justin releases the time stop and kicks Tarolli one final time, sending him sailing towards the ground. At about this time, the energy blasts hit the four others. Unfortunately, there aren't enough to do any real damage, leaving Lance, Chris, Joey, and JC rather unharmed. After slamming into the pavement, Tarolli climbs back to his feet just in time to get pummeled by all five N*Sync dorkos. "It ain't no lie, baby bye, bye, bye," they all say in unison before lauching a collective energy blast into Tarolli's chest. Tarolli falls to his knees and drops his head, noticing a rather large hole in his chest that wasn't there a few moments ago. Tarolli moans and falls to the ground face first, dead.

The N*Sync boys begin their victory dance, seemingly a cross between an endzone dance a football player would perform and the posing antics of the Ginyu Squad. "Excellent work boys. Keep this up and you might be able to call yourselves a group in the future. Of course, I'm still the bomb and you'll never be as good as I am, but I won't hold that against you. I am, after all, the shit. I boinked Britney," Justin says. However, the rest of the group has already walked off, completely ignoring his speech. "Hey! Wait up guys! We still have work to do for this album!" Justin shouts as he runs after them.

Notes:
Tares lost one Battle. PL raised by 2,165. Used his Sleepy Grass. He was sent to the Next Dimension.
Brolli lost one Battle. PL raised by 2,203. He was send to the Next Dimension.
Justin Timberlake won one Battle. PL raised by 24,458. Scouter revealed. He killed Tares and Brolli.
Lance helped win one Battle. PL raised by 24,458.
Chris helped win one Battle. PL raised by 24,458.
Joey helped win one Battle. PL raised by 24,458.
JC helped win one Battle. PL raised by 24,458.

34) Videl vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
Videl is training exquisitely under the guidance of the once great Master Roshi. "Teach me more sensei Roshi," she begs. "In do time," he replies. "I wanna know more now!" she insists. "You'll get yurs, don't worry," he insures. "Now!," she commands, firing a ki blast at Roshi. "I was right, you will get yurs, in the words of Homer Simpson, yur Com-up-pence!" he shouts. "What the hell is that suppose to mean?" thinks Videl. "Oh well..."

Videl stampedes at Roshi, meanwhile roshi is lost in the view of Videl's boobs jiggling, bouncing up and down, down and up as she charges towards him. Drool drips down him mouth, his glasses slide off, and his eyes fly wide open. "Hubba Hubba, those are some mighty fine looking boobies," he comments. "Here comes the..." (BOOM!) "Where did that truck come from?" Roshi asks, lying flat on his back. He gets back up, kicks and punches are being thrown at Videl while she comes back with scratching, knees to the groinal area, biting and finally hair pulling. However, in MR's case, he has none so when she went for her final KO move she missed cuz of the no-hair thing. MR counters with a vigilante's move, quickly using a kamehameha wave and blasts it straight into the ground, propelling him right above Videl. Then recharging for another kamehameha wave right at her, Videl tries to move, but cannot in time cuz of the enormous load on her back of the shell and gi. Videl got knocked out. Roshi walks over and pokes her tit. "Nice and firm, the way I like em." Roshi walks away and goes to watch tv.

Notes:
Videl lost one Spar. PL raised by 1,802.

33) Oolong vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
Oolong had over the years been to many places and seen many things. His powers of perversion had much since grown. From Bulma to Ranfan, from Lunch to Chi-Chi, it was true Oolong had achieved his place in the Roshi hall of fame. But to Oolong, he didn’t believe he just deserved second best, he wanted Roshi’s place at the top of the perversion arts. So it was then that Oolong challenged Roshi to a Pantie show down!

"Roshi! Your time has come old man. Its time for a new pig to take over the title of world's most perverted and that pig is me!" Oolong shouted at Roshi. The old turtle hermit didn’t pay any attention to Oolong and just told him to buzz off. Oolong wouldn’t be denied though and by transforming into Videl, he lured Roshi out into the open.

"Hehe... Videl, so you’ve finally come around to seeing my charm and decided to take a little walk with this stud master hmmm." Roshi gloated but nearly fell down in shock when Videl transformed into Oolong.

"What the hell! Oolong!" Roshi shouted in anger. Oolong smirked evilly and pulled out his bag of female underwear. "There is no running away from the challenge now Roshi. Its time for the show down!" Oolong declared and Roshi simply nodded, pulling out his bag of panties well. The two began to panty box, showing their most prized panties in an over dramatic style. It started off with Bulma panties, both of them had a pair. Next was Chi-Chi’s, then Lunch’s, then Videl’s, then Ranfan’s, then 18’s; this continued until both Oolong and Roshi only had one pair left. Oolong pulled out his most rare panties and they belonged to none other than Bra, an exclusive lingerie production of GT panties. Roshi was impressed and just as Oolong was about to go for the title, Roshi pulled out the most elusive pair of z panties, they belonged to Marron, Krillin’s first girlfriend. Now in any other case Oolong's Bra panties would have won, but this pair of Marron panties were the ultimate production, edible cherry flavored, with the most intricate design, and they were signed by Marron! Oolong was defeated and had to give up his collection to Roshi. From that day on Oolong was never the same.

Notes:
Oolong lost one Spar. PL raised by 366.

32) Android 18 vs. Vegita Ou: Spar
Two boys are sitting around watching the television. "Alright my favorite show is on," Matt said to his friend Brian. "Spar Night on DEF." This nights spar consists of a female android, properly named Android 18, taking on the King of all Saiyans, Vegita Ou. "Sweet dude, let's bet to see who wins," Brian says, "I'll take Vegita Ou, he's sweet." Matt agrees and the two kids put their twenties on the coffee table.

Android 18 looked to have the better half of Vegita Ou, after landing a series of punches. It seemed like everything Vegita Ou did was just way to slow to even hit the android, but then it looked like Vegita Ou had a chance after all. The cameras pointed to the sky and focused in on the huge full moon. Yep, the moon was out and we all know what that means. As soon as Vegita Ou looks at it, bam, a giant ape is formed.

"Haha! Looks like your luck has run out Matty, Vegita Ou is going to go Oozaru form and kill that damn android," Brian said as he reached for the twenties. Matt quickly zanzokened at human speed and knocked away Brian's hand with an overwhelmingly weak smack. "Just wait, I think the android is up to something," Matt replied.

And yep, he was right. Android 18 was beginning to strip and boy was it a site. For being an android, number 18 had it going on. Vegita Ou knew this and quickly became glued to 18's umm, mountain peaks. "Just look up you dumb Saiya-jin," Brian began shouting. But it was much too late for Vegita Ou. 18 quickly rose up her hands and shot an energy blast straight into Vegita Ou's jaw knocking him out cold.

Notes:
Android 18 won one Spar. PL raised by 1,495.
Vegita Ou lost one Spar. PL raised by 676.

31) Fat Buu vs. NPI Buruma: NPI Spar
Deep in the Capsule Corp. building, a single light is on as Bulma sits awake and alone in her room staring at a picture of her former love Vegita. Feeling extremely neglected, she decides that even though she finds him repulsive, she will try and crack onto her new student Fat Buu. "I mean I've lowered my standards enough to copulate with Vegeta... It's not really much of a step backwards to Buu...the pink blob that he is," Bulma said quietly to herself as she started towards Fat Buu's room.

Meanwhile...

Fat Buu is tossing and turning in his small and uncomfortable capsule bed... Unable to sleep or find the light switch, Buu decides to practice his fighting technique, attacking the thin air around him. At one point, he knocked his temporary capsule case onto the floor setting off all the capsules inside, flooding the room with items exploding Buu into a million pieces to re-form outside just in time to see Bulma coming for a visit... Just as Bulma is about to open her mouth to see if Buu wanted to do anything, Buu pulled his arm off and threw it at her. Bulma screamed as the hand grabbed her and started to throw her around the room. She didn't even have a chance to wiggle her ass in a distracting manner because within minutes she was unconscious more from fright than pain, but unconscious none the less... Buu started to do this really odd belly dance screaming "I WON... I FINALLY WON!! ... WOOOO BUU!!"

Buu took his arm back from around Bulma's arm before easily picking up her limp body and taking it up to her room plonking her on her bed. Finding a conveniently laid marker, Buu altered the picture of Vegeta on the wall making him look even more dorky than ever.

Notes:
Fat Buu won one Spar. PL raised by 2,407.

30) Vegetto vs. Gohan vs. Vegita: Spar w/Sneak Battle
Roshi had been preparing for this day for the past three weeks when he heard about the Saiya-jin horde that was due to arrive on his island. He’d been doing some research about the lunar cycles, and knew that sooner or later, the full moon would hit his tiny island. And with all these silly half-apes (please don’t come after me for that, it’s just commentary guys, seriously) running around, there could be some MAJOR problems. Knowing this, Roshi had been spending every free moment (excluding of course his time spent in his room with the TV/VCR privately watching Rheannon Gets Busted) trying to monkey-proof his home. He’d done everything he could think of. He’d sprayed his house with Tobasco-laced lemon juice (everybody knows two things apes can’t stand to eat are spicy lemons, found only in a small patch of meadow in the middle of Tahiti. But Tabasco-laced lemons would have to do). He also had built a Giant Rabbit in which he and his next of kin (Turtle) could hide till daylight (it’s not-so-common knowledge that monkeys are all afraid of bunny rabbits). And we can’t forget about the trail of bananas leading away from the island, buoyed in the sea. And on top of it all, Roshi had spent the last three days going to all the insurance agencies to insure his property in the amount of 100 million zeni. So in all honesty, last night he decided that that much Zeni would be WELL worth the month or so of rebuilding, and thusly he ate the bananas, rubbed the peels on the house (to give it that nice, appetizing banana smell), and burned the giant wooden rabbit, realizing afterwards that he’d STILL have nowhere to hide from the rampaging beasts. And yet, despite all his work and preparation, Sunday came, and the spar between Gohan and Vegetto was about to begin when Roshi looked up to see.... clouds. Lots and lots of clouds. No moon, no stars, just really thick clouds, with just the slightest hint of drizzle. Sighing, he went back inside to his favorite video.

The spar started out just like it was suspected to. Vegetto raced in to lock heads with the young warrior Gohan, when the young genius naturally took to the air. "HAHAHA!!! Didn’t think I’d do that did you, Vegetto?" A bit annoyed, Vegetto replied, "I thought your father had trained you a bit better than that, boy. I’d have thought that, like a Saiya-jin warrior, you’d have shaken with anticipation just thinking about a spar with someone as tough as me. But then again, you ARE half-human. Just go and run off like the schoolgirl that you want to be." At this, Vegetto turned his back on the airborne Gohan, only to charge up a Kamehameha while Gohan decided what to do next. Unfortunately, before Vegetto could finish his preparatory chant, Gohan had begun flying off when suddenly all within hearing distance heard, "OOOOF, PUTWANG! SQUEEKY, SQUEEKY!! ZIP PANG, SCHOOMP BOOM!!! NI NI NI!!!! SPLASH!!! THUD!!! SQUISH SQUISH, GROAN, THUD, DING!!! WHOO HOO!!!!" And out of sheer surprise, Vegetto just watched as it all happened, unable to do a thing.

Vegita had been planning his attack on Gohan for the past week. He’d made all preparations and was ready to spring his trap. He just needed Gohan to walk across the trip-wire. The only problem was that Gohan was now flying. "Damn it! That stupid Gohan!! Why couldn’t he have just fought with Vegetto the noble way without being a big wuss like his father? Now this will never work!" Lucky for the Saiya-jin prince, he STILL got lucky. As it turns out, Gohan figured on Vegetto not being happy about him flying away from the spar, and thusly planned on some form of energy beam coming his way once his back was turned. Once he heard the Ka-me-ha, he flew straight down to the ground ready to release a well-timed Masenko into Vegetto’s general direction. Unfortunately for him, upon hitting the ground he heard a swift "PUTWANG!!" And Vegeta watched in delight as his trap went into motion.

Upon hitting the spring-loaded tripwire, Gohan was sprung through the air by the sprung, spring platform through the air across the island. When the platform sprung, the wire that was attached to it got pulled. And following that string through an ingenious array of pulleys (SQUEEKY SQUEEKY), we find it attached to a cross-bow (ZIP) aimed directly at a string that suspended one of Roshi’s frying pans, which dropped straight down into Gohan’s path (PANG). Now Gohan, still travelling in the same direction due to the laws of physics, (yes they still apply to DB characters) flew along his trajectory into a big copper tube (SCHOOMP). Once this occurred, Gohan’s body set off a pressure switch that caused the cannon (which he was now so conveniently located in) to fire (BOOM) sending him flying once again through the air without the help of his bukujutsu. Seeing this bodily projectile flying across the island, a group of knights, in search of a shrubbery, pointed at the spectacle in terror yelling at the top of their lungs (NI NI NI). After his second unplanned flight, he landed in the ocean (SPLASH) at QUITE a high velocity. And as anybody who’s water-skied/swam before would know, when you’re going that fast, it’s just like crashing into rock. Now, Vegita didn’t expect Gohan to fly quite that far, and thusly leaned out on the branch he was on a little too far and fell from his perch in the tree (THUD) but was quick to get up to continue the surveillance (later review showed that Vegita had mistakenly programmed the spring for feet/second and the cannon in meters/second, he’s not a genius after all, he’s bound to make some mistakes). Gohan, while hurting, wasn’t quite gone, and so he was able to crawl out of the ocean (SQUISH SQUISH) only to collapse out of exhaustion (THUD) right underneath the tree in which Vegita had set the anvil, which fell right on Gohan (DING) knocking him out. Being totally ecstatic with himself, Vegeta promptly yelled "WHOO HOO!!" (WHOO HOO) in total pure joy.

Finally able to come to terms with what had just happened, there was another certain Saiya-jin warrior still conscious on the island. He wasn’t too happy about Vegeta ruining his spar with Gohan. He quickly reminded Vegeta of this fact by simply walking right up behind Vegeta and began his own sneak attack. The poor defenseless warrior-prince never heard Vegetto’s chanting over his own shrill laughter. As Vegeta incinerated in the enraged Saiya-jin’s Kamehameha wave, Vegetto later remembered thinking to himself, "I really gotta learn to control this damn temper of mine. At least there won’t be any clean up tomorrow. Oops, almost forgot." As he bent over the anvil to lift it off of Gohan’s unconscious body. "At least I can make amends by helping Gohan out." The next morning Gohan woke up next to an anvil with the world’s most comfortable pillow, and what he thought was one HELL of a hangover.

Notes:
Vegetto defeated Vegita. PL raised by 3,433. He killed Vegita.
Gohan was defeated by Vegita in a sneak attack. PL raised by 527.
Vegita defeated Gohan in a sneak attack, but lost to Vegetto. PL raised by 2,487. He was sent to the Next Dimension.

29) Yajirobe vs. NPI Red Ogre: NPI Spar
Yajirobe had been enjoying his time in the HFIL. Sure, who wouldn't love spending their time there? You get to practice your skills with your sword and hear voices talk to you about starting a clan to take on the evil do'ers on earth. Yep, nothing could be better for Yajirobe then this.

That's of course before everyone realized Yajirobe's flaws. Because of his uniquely built body, the round curves in his legs made him one of the slowest people in the world. I'm not trying to imply he is fat or anything, he's just rather slow. So after much poking, Yajirobe decided he was going to become fast. Faster than anyone else! Ever faster than, (Yajirobe looks around) that guy right there.

As he slowly moves towards the Red Ogre, he carefully stares him down. "This guy can't be fast," Yajirobe says to himself. He then confronts Red Ogre and challenges him to a race, nine thousand, eight hundred and fifty-two laps around Hell. The Red Ogre, knowing that he is in fact the fastest person in the world, gladly accepts.

The two racers get into their stance, the Ogre in a perfect sprinters position, and Yajirobe sitting on his fat, I mean uniquely shaped ass, eating a chicken wing. The gun blows and they are off. Well, at least the Ogre is, Yajirobe never seemed to get off the starting line. After nine thousand, eight hundred and fifty-one laps, the Red Ogre stops and begins gloating in front of Yajirobe. "Aw man that was no fair, I didn't think you were actually fast, this sucks." Yajirobe complains. The Ogre laughs as he begins to go finish his last lap.

Yajirobe then, becoming very pissed, decides that he is going to win this race and takes out his z-sword and throws it straight into the back of the Red Ogre who collapses to the ground. Yajirobe then begins his long walk to victory. Minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days and finally Yajirobe gets to the finish line and says, "Lap One done, only nine thousand eight hundred and fifty-one more to go." Somewhere in this cruel world Yajirobe does win this race, but it is neither for me to tell of its happening, nor for you to hear it.

Notes:
Yajirobe won one Spar. PL raised by 1,250.

28) Rainbow Randolph vs. NPI Puaru: NPI Spar
Many of you might remember, the evil cat demon thing, otherwise known as Puaru. Yes, he truly was a wicked creature, however Rainbow Randolph is not fighting the evil cat demon thing, Puaru, but the kind hearted and caring cat that is teaching him to shift from one useless shape to another equally useless shape. Anyways, since this Puaru was nice and not evil, the two decided to play a nice kind hearted game of hide and go seek.

They decided that each one of them would hide, first Rainbow Randolph and then Puaru. Rainbow Randolph ran off while Puaru counted to 100. "This is going to be easy," said Randolph to himself. "That cat is never going to find me. I’m the best at this game." With this Randolph set off in search of the perfect hiding spot. He looked high and low and finally he saw, hidden away underneath a big old tree, a tiny little gopher hole. Now, Randolph wasn’t any good at changing his shape yet, but that didn’t matter. His shape didn’t matter. Just his size, and so he changed into some faceless blob and hid down in this gopher hole. Luckily for Randolph, the occupying gopher wasn’t home and he sat down waiting for Puaru. "Man Puaru is never going to be able to find me. I’m going to win this spar without even trying. If he can’t find me in an hour I automatically win." Yes, all of this was going through Randolph’s mind as Puaru pocked his head in the gophers hold and said, "Tag, you’re it." "This sucks! How did you ever find me? That hiding spot is perfect," Randolph whined. "Now that young Randolph is why you are the student and I am the teacher. I will explain what you did wrong after your attempt to find me," Puaru said.

And so Randolph started counting and when he finished yelled, "Ready or not, here I come!" The first thirty minutes passed quickly and Randolph hadn’t been able to find Puaru. It seemed liked he had looked everywhere. Another fifteen minutes passed all to quickly and Randolph just couldn’t find Puaru. "This isn’t fair," said Randolph out loud. "I'm supposed to win. Puaru is just a dumb cat. I’m a powerful warrior. How can he beat me? What am I doing wrong?"

"You’re not looking very hard," replied Puaru. "Oops! Bye now," yelled Puaru as he ran off from his hiding place. "Ah ha! Now I have you Puaru," shouted Randolph as he chased after Puaru. Just as Randolph was about to catch Puaru, Puaru yelled, "olley olley ox I’m free." "What does that mean?" asked Randolph. "It means I made it back to home and that I’m safe so you can’t tag me." "Well that stinks. How come you didn’t tell me that I could come back here and be safe?" "Ah, young Randolph, I did tell you. I said that Home Base was the same place where you counted." "Well, um, that isn’t fair!" whined Randolph. "Why isn’t it fair? You weren’t listening and now you lost because of it. When you have learned patience and attention I am sure you will also be able to master henge and then your skills as a warrior will be able to combine with your newfound attention and you will truly be a formidable warrior.

Notes:
Rainbow Randolph lost one Spar. PL raised by 1,077.

27) Tapion vs. Paikuhan: Spar
Paikuhan wanders up behind Tapion, who is thrusting his pelvic bone into the air while atop his nimbus cloud. "Hey Tapion, you look pretty gay doing that...you gay." Tapion hops off, "I'm not gonna waste the energy on words," he thinks as he flips in the air and comes down striking with an elbow into Paikuhan's face. Paikuhan charges with fists flying and Tapion keeps side-stepping the punches. Tapion sets back trying to end this fight quick, "Masenko!" As the blast nears, Tapion who was ready for this, escapes from the area on his nimbus cloud... Tapion now looking to counter the attack, brings out the duh dun duh dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Roshi's Staff. As he sits there in amazement of his new find, Paikuhan charges another Masenko...

Tapion thinks to himself, "Did I just hear something?" Turning his head, oh boy, Tapion quickly drops his staff and conjurers up his Kamehameha wave and blasts it at the wave coming towards him. A power struggle ensues, back and forth, back and forth... Tapion gets the edge as his blasts destroys the Masenko... Paikuhan doesn't like the look of a huge blast coming at him so he decides wisely to haul his ass off with Zanzoken, dodging to the side and starts charging up at Tapion, Tapion drops to his knees and picks up the staff and Paikuhan is right there as soon as he had picked it up. Tapion sees him and WHAM, Paikuhan is down. A shot to the nuts from the staff while Tapion was on his knees and what a cheap shot it was. Tapion is picked up by the Nimbus Cloud where they set off into the sky, thrusting into the air once again.

Notes:
Tapion won one Spar. PL raised by 1,641.
Paikuhan lost one Spar. PL raised by 401.

26) Vegetto vs. Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph vs. Tapion vs. Gohan vs. Vegita: FFA Spar
Vegetto, Videl, Rainbow Randolph (I wonder what that kids parents were on when they named him), Tapion, Gohan, and Vegita all squared off for one massive spar on Roshi’s island only there was one problem. Where was Vegetto? The overpowered Saiya-jin type was nowhere to be found. Now normally this wouldn’t be all that troubling as most of the competitors were expecting to get trounced by Vegetto and if he had gone missing then they would actually stand a chance, but on this occasion the whole group of them had been up all night planning a strategy that would let them take down Vegetto. Now with Vegetto missing and their plans laid to ruin, Videl and Rainbow Randolph were eyeing Tapion, Gohan, and Vegita like a fat man eyes a 12 oz. steak. Yes, these three small fries have quickly gone from helping in a greater cause to becoming a midafternoon snack, or if that analogy doesn’t work for you then they went from being only marginally screwed to being totally fucked.

Videl charges towards Gohan and bitch slaps him halfway across the island while Rainbow Randolph grabs Vegita, puts him in a headlock, and rams his head against a conveniently placed palm tree. "Owwww! That hurt," complains Vegita. "Oh wait, I’m a Saiya-jin elite, not some low class worm like that Kakarot worm. That didn’t hurt me you stupid human. I am a Saiya-jin elite and it will take a lot more than being ran into a tree to knock me down." "Oh," replies Randolph. "Then how about I rip this tree out of the ground and beat you senseless with it?" Without waiting for a reply, Randolph rips the tree out of the ground and proceeds to use it as a giant fly swatter. While he is batting Vegita across the island, Tapion figures that he is fucked anyways and so he might as well make a play to take out Randolph. So he picks up two empty halves of coconuts and starts banging them together making a noise much like a horse would make. Now using this noise, and the coconuts of course, Tapion gets a good head of steam going and barrels right into Randolph sending him careening into some randomly placed object that was clearly placed there for the sole purpose of being run into. I mean, who puts things like that in places like those? Completely ridiculous if you ask me.

Randolph picks himself up and notices Tapion prancing around the island banging two empty halves of coconuts together and then looks over and sees Vegita picking himself up as well, so he quickly kicks Vegita in the crotch (filthy humans do things like that, bastards) and turns his attention to Tapion.

"What the hell are you doing you idiot?" asks Tapion. "Why I’m riding my new horse. Do you like it?"
"Horse! There isn’t a horse you moron. You’re just banging two empty halves of coconuts together and prancing around like an idiot."
"No I’m not."
"Yes you are.
"No I’m not."
"Yes you are."
"Am not."
"Are to."
"Am not."
"Are to are to are to are to are to are to."
"Am not am not am not am not am not am not."

Before this inane argument can go any further, Videl walks over from Gohan’s beaten body and kicks Tapion in the head sending him careening into Randolph. This double impact is simply to much for the coconut bandit and he lapses into unconsciousness, holding the coconuts if I might add. It is at this point that Vegetto chooses to reveal himself by sending an energy blast down towards the two remaining combatants. "I allowed you two dimwits to purge the vermin before I showed up, but now without your little minions you don’t stand a chance against me. Oh, I knew of your little plot to gang up on me. I’m not as stupid as Goku looks you know. I am Vegetto and none can beat me." Anyways, this sort of inane machismo goes on for about 45 minutes.

Videl and Randolph both try and stop it by flying up and engaging Vegetto who is still hovering 50 feet above Roshi’s Island, but Vegetto avoids all of their attacks without any great difficulty and continues talking. Eventually Videl actually lands an energy blast and smears Vegetto’s snazzy looking outfit. Now this enrages Vegetto so much that he flies down to the ground and pummels Videl into the dust. Hitting her on the head again and again until her entire body has been pushed into the sand. In fact, she is pushed so far down that her feet actually push through the island and go into the water below. While all of this beating is going on, Rainbow Randolph goes off and finds Master Roshi and manages to convince him that Videl will show him her boobs if Roshi lends Randolph one of his really filthy magazines. Now I don’t mean one of his usual hentai jobs. I mean some real filth. Randolph knows that Vegetto’s one real weakness is his aversion to porn. You see, Vegetto’s old suitemate used to always watch porn. He had this one blue tape...but that is another story. Basically, what it all amounts to is that Vegetto thinks porn is nasty.

So Randolph walks over towards Vegetto holding the magazine in front of him and when Vegetto turns towards him he yells "Don’t come any closer. I’ve got a copy of Young and Filthy and I’ll throw it at you if you come any closer." This infuriates the Saiya-jin type, who just stands there glowering at Randolph. This impasse continues until the sun goes down and Vegetto walks away. However, Randolph is still far to scared of Vegetto and his wrath to move and thus, he continues to stand there, the filth extended all night. The next morning when Roshi gets up wondering where Videl and her buxom young self has wandered off to he walks past Randolph, who still is holding the magazine as if he is warding of Vegetto. Anyways, Roshi grabs the filth out of Randolph’s hands and mutters something about unappreciative youth. When Roshi grabs the magazine out of his hands Randolph is startled and runs off like a little girl crying for his mommy.

Notes:
Vegetto defeated Videl and tied Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 6,866.
Videl defeated Tapion and Gohan, but was defeated by Vegetto. PL raised by 5,621.
Rainbow Randolph defeated Vegita and tied Vegetto. PL raised by 5,174.
Tapion was defeated by Videl. PL raised by 916.
Gohan was defeated by Videl. PL raised by 916.
Vegita was defeated by Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 457.

25) Android 18 vs. NPI Ranfan: NPI Spar
Android 18 had just recently seen a billboard for Ranfan's training. Knowing Ranfan was famous for her Iroke Kougeki technique, 18 thought she would try it out. I mean, after all, 18 is pretty sexy for being an Android. After a few days of dealing with Ranfan, 18 thought she had finally mastered this technique and challenged Ranfan to a little spar.

"I bet you I can beat you in a spar. You'll have no chance against the combination of my lethal attacks and my sexiness," Android 18 said. So the two girls take their position and 18 charges at Ranfan, but as she approaches Ranfan begs 18 not to hit her. "Wait don't fight me yet, I have to show you something." As 18 stopped her attack Ranfan began removing her shirt with such "Herbal Essence Commercial" style. Every man on Earth would stop dead in their tracks if they saw what Ranfan was doing.

But 18 is not a man. "What the hell are you trying to pull? You aren't distracting me, if I wanted to see that stuff I'd look in the mirror. Plus, I can do that even better then you." Just then 18 started to remove her clothes using what she knew of the Iroke Kougeki technique.

Ranfan was quite disappointed at 18's moves. It was like watching 50's porn that your dad has in his closet underneath the shoebox in the black leather case (or maybe just my dad). So, Ranfan proceeded to try to show 18 the proper technique of the move. It lasted for quite a few hours, each woman taking off their clothes, trying to be as sexy as they can. After a while they grew quite fond of each other, and neither of which wanted to spar anymore.

Notes:
Android 18 tied one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,669.

24) Fat Buu vs. NPI Ranfan: NPI Spar
Fat Buu is busy practicing what Ranfan has been teaching him over the past few days.... How to seductively remove your clothing so as to distract your opponent long enough to get in a damaging blow. Fat Buu fancies himself as a bit of a looker so everyone should fall for his beautiful body as he removes his little bit of clothing and he thinks its time his master learned a trick or two. Waiting until his master was asleep Fat Buu creeps slowy and quietly (unlike Tares) into Ranfan's room right up to her bed. Moving in close to her ear he yells "BUU!!!" (no spelling mistake). Ranfan jumps out of bed in her short satin nighty leaving much of her body exposed to the cool air of the night. Fat Buu's eyes popped out of his head as she shivered as a small breeze blew around her and she slowly lifted her nighty up over her head revealing her shapely body and Fat Buu colapsed to the ground in excitement and pain as Ranfan smacked him upside of the head with her cleaverly hidden baseball bat. Ranfan picked Fat Buu up and dragged him out of her room kicking him a couple of times before locking her door.

Notes:
Fat Buu lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 421.

23) Tares vs. Brolli: Spar
"Full House! I win!" Tares shouted as he stretched over the table and scooped up the playing chips. Brolli sat across from him grunting at his lost. "One more time!" Brolli demanded and the game of poker once again started. The cards were drawn and both Saiya-jins stared at each other. Brolli had two pairs in his hand. "I’m staying. This victory is mine!" Brolli laughed as he smacked his cards on the table. "Two Pairs! Muwahahaha! I win!" Brolli said with his most evil laugh. Then, just as Brolli was going for the playing chips, Tares grinned and put his cards on the table. "Full House! I win again! Muhaha.ha..ha *hack cough*!" Tares could never execute the evil laugh, even in Evil University; his evil laughs were only mediocre at best. So anyhow, Tares had just won and taken all of Brolli’s belongings. "That’s impossible. You’ve gotten a full house every time we’ve played and all I ever got was two pair," Brolli said out loud while the wheels in his head started to work.

"You’re... You’re cheating! You’re a cheater! You ripped me off! Arrrrgh! I’ll.. I’ll kill you!" Brolli said in rage and as with any poker game gone wrong, the table had to be flipped over. So after execute the perfect table flip, Brolli grabbed Tares by the collar and lifted him off the ground. Tares, knowing he was in a bad situation quickly, zanzokened away just as a fist was about to hit him. Tares appeared behind Brolli and started to yell at his Saiya-jin training partner. "Look Brolli, I’m not a cheater! You just have the worst luck and suck at playing cards!" Tares retorted. Brolli didn’t care though, because whenever he got mad, he had to beat someone up or his adrenaline glands wouldn’t stop pumping. So the only response Tares received was a growl and an energy blast to the mid section. Tares, now pissed as well, wasn’t going to take this abuse anymore. He began to concentrate his ki and formed a triangle between his hands. Brolli, blinded by his rage, charged straight at Tares and was engulfed in the energy wave known of Kikoho. The ground was ripped apart and when the smoke cleared, there was only a triangular hole were Brolli once stood.

"Whew.. Dum brute thinks just because he’s a bit more evil than me he can just push me around. Well, Muhahahahahaha! That’ll show him!" Tares smiled and then realized he had just performed the perfect evil laugh. "I did it! I did the laugh! I did it!" Tares shouted as he started the dance around, celebrating.

But just as Tares began to do the cabbage patch, the ground under him exploded as Brolli came up underneath him. Tares was caught totally off guard and got bashed into next week by Brolli’s left hook. Tares slowly got up and stumbled to his feet. "I can’t lose now. I have the force on my side! The evil laugh!" Tares yelled to himself as his aura exploded around him. Brolli was quickly closing in on Tares ready to pound him into the ground once more, but once again fell to the after image technique as he swung right through a blur of Tares. "Raaaaa! I’ll smash you!" Brolli growled as he looked around for Tares. Suddenly the ground began to light up as hundreds of energy blast began to rain down on Brolli from above. Tares was now in the air giving his all to take down the behemoth Saiya-jin. When Tares had finished his Renzoku Energy Dan barrage, there was tons of smoke where Brolli was. A faint glimmer of energy was seen in the debris and as the smoke cleared, it was Brolli surround by a barrier of ki. Tares’s face faltered as he felt all hope was lost.

"No.. the laugh.. it... It can’t fail!" Tares muttered. Brolli looked up at Tares with the most smug grin on his face. It was then that Brolli pushed Tares over the edge. "Muhahahahah Ahahahahahahaha!" Brolli laughed an evil laugh that made Tares’s laugh look like a mere evil henchmen’s. This was the ultimate insult. Tares couldn’t take it. All the memories of being called a goodie at Evil University by his peers and instructors, all the tormenting off him being called that name that he hates so much: Goku. It all came back to him and it sent him into a berserk rage of insanity, it even scared Brolli.

The next day, Brolli is in the hospital bandaged head to toe and Tares is trying to recall what happened when he blacked out in the spar. Needless to say, Tares was the victor this time. Now only if he could control that power.

Notes:
Tares won one Spar. PL raised by 7,066.
Brolli lost one Spar. PL raised by 1,081.

22) Vegetto vs. NPI Master Roshi: NPI Spar
As Vegetto finished his 382nd bowl of tuna-flavored rice, he simply looked at Roshi. "You can’t want more!" Master Roshi exclaimed. And Vegetto just stared at Roshi in hopeful anticipation. "Look, boy. I don’t have anymore food for you to consume. If you want any more food, you’re going to have to find it for yourself." Now Vegetto didn’t really like this one little bit. He just started training with Roshi this week, and this old man couldn’t even comprehend who he was training here. "He should be honored that he’s training me. The LEAST he could do for such an honor is feed me." And it was obvious to Vegetto that this guy wasn’t going to give easily.

"Hey man. You KNEW what you were getting yourself into here. It’s not like you’ve never trained us Saiya-jins before. You saw how much Vegeta and Goku ate alone. You should have seen this coming. Besides, with all the hard work I’m putting in here for you, this is the LEAST you could do for me." You see, over the past two days of training with Roshi, Vegetto had already done the chores of 20 people. He washed Roshi’s collection of sunglasses, de-turtled all of his tropical shirts (that Vegetto had never like anyway), "turtle-waxed" Roshi’s head, "Roshi-waxed" Turtle’s shell, built that bridge to the mainland (toll-booth included), and even went woman-fishing for Master Roshi (even though he was totally unsuccessful because he kept bringing back women that looked like Martha Steward). And all this was simply from two days work.

But of course Roshi still didn’t care. "Look, kid. You got two choices. You can either go find your own food and not be hungry, or you can just continue with your training. Personally, I think it’s about time to do some more training. Now where is that bee-hive?" And as it dawned on Vegetto what Roshi’s next plan for training was, he decided that he had had enough. "That’s it!!!! I have had enough! You have NO food, your training is mediocre at best, and I REFUSE to get stung by a bunch of bees again, and you’re just a weak old man anyway!!!! What did I think you could POSSIBLY do to help me?!! So just get off of your WEAK little butt and teach me the move, or prepare to meet your maker you old fart!!!"

*****squeeeeeeeeeeeek*****

"You didn’t!" Vegetto exclaimed as a large red-faced grin went across the master’s face. And as the reality of the situation hit Vegetto that Roshi had just contaminated the Island, he immediately flew out the door and into the ocean. Now I use that term "flew" loosely because while he can’t yet actually fly, he sure as HELL got out of there quickly. Now that the "old fart" was quite pleased with himself, he slowly traipsed outside to wait for the fog to clear, and for Vegetto to get enough confidence to come out of his submerged position in the ocean (the one place that the Roshian Cloud could not penetrate). About five minutes later, he finally came out, gasping for breath. "Burritos," is all Roshi said as Vegetto lay on the beach gasping for air.

"Now what is it you were saying to me, Vegetto?" Now Vegetto saw what was in Roshi’s hand. And he KNEW what a nose-plug looked like. It was obvious to him, that Roshi was just getting started. And everybody knows what that crazy old man is capable of. Now seeing as threats weren’t working, Vegetto decided that maybe a little negotiational skills might be useful. "OK, I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated that I haven’t even begun learning my move yet. Look, I didn’t want to do this, but I kinda feel bad about failing in your woman hunt. And I think I have an idea." At this, Roshi’s eyes lit up like a spotlight in the ghetto. "If you want, I’m willing to offer you not one, not two, but THREE women, if you’ll just hurry this lesson up and get it over with so I don’t have to spend ANY more time with your rank ass. I’ll give you Chi-Chi, Baruma, AND my son’s wife, Videl. All you have to do is hurry this training up."

Poor, poor Vegetto. As luck would have it, Videl and her henchman were just about to spar when Videl (with her great, woman-enhanced hearing) heard the comment, quickly dialed both Baruma AND Chi-Chi and told them what was going on. Then she quickly paused her match with Randy to shove a painful, yet harmless-in-the-long-run energy blast up the fused Saiya-jin’s ass. "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! What was THAT for!?" Vegetto exclaimed as Videl went back to her henchman to begin another brawl.

At this, Roshi just started laughing his ass off. He hadn’t seen anything THAT funny since turtle tried "Roshi-waxing" his shell in the dark, and used the can of Whale hormones instead. Since that day, Turtle has had 264 different whales try to initiate mating rituals with him. Poor turtle. But even so, Vegetto just couldn’t take anymore of these insults from a decrepit old man, and was just about to unleash his Ki No Tsurugi when along comes a Capsule-Corp jet. And sitting in that jet, were two VERY pissed off women. Now I could sit here and tell you exactly what happened next, but that’s just going to take WAY too long because of all the damn talking that the women would be doing while they’re beating the shit out of the once-proud fused Saiya-jin. Needless to say, the women put him in his place, talked Roshi into settling for a smile and a wave, and told Roshi to give them a call if ever Vegetto got out of line again, and puttered off in their Capsule-Corp jet back to the mainland. But Vegetto wasn’t through and was just about to sneak attack Roshi, when...

*****squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek*****

"I forgot about the nose-plug!!!!!" was all he had time to think before passing out from the odor. After the smog cleared, Roshi went up to the KO’ed Saiya-jin, smiled and carefully tucked away in Vegetto’s training gear, a pair of nose-plugs. "I hope at least you learn from your mistakes, kid."

Notes:
Vegetto lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,168.

21) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
After being kicked around many times by his master, Rainbow Randolf decided he has to some way think of a full proof plan on defeating videl. That no matter what, he'll win. Seconds go by, minutes go by, then hours and finally days. "I got it," says Rainbow Randolf. Videl comes walking by and Rainbow Randolf jumps at his chance. "I challenge you to a duel." "OK," says Videl, readying her energy blast that will completely destroy Rainbow Randolf. Rainbow Randolf jumps back and says "HEY! Not that kind of duel! I'm talking about a Diablo 2 duel, me versus you, one death." Videl eagerly agrees, finally being able to use her Necromancer that she has been leveling up for so long in cow games. They both set up their computers right next to each other (what great fighters don't have a computer, pssh). Videl tells him to make the game. Rainbow Randolf enters the game name as Videl...password is..Is Gay. Each fighter putting on there best gear for the battle, Videl has her necromancer while Rainbow Randolf brought his busty duff-man physique type Barbarian out.

Out of town now, they stare at one another, and videl says GO. Videl raises a few skeletons and casts out her Golem, while Rainbow Randolf with his Barbarian is chasing her around because a necromancer isn't a fighter. It lets its minions do all the fighting for it. While all the chasing, the barbarian manages to kill of the skeletons. Still chasing cuz the necromancer is a pussy and just casts spells on the barbarian and runs off. Videl notices that the Barb has disappeared from the screen and stops, a second later the Barb comes falling from the sky and lands right on top of the Necro killing it with his sword. Victory alas, for Rainbow Randolf. Rainbow Randolf turning to his left and says, "HA! I finally beat you." Vide,l turning to her right and obviously angered that her new and improved character lost, lifts her hand and blows Rainbow Randolf away.

Notes:
Videl won one Spar. PL raised by 1,368.
Rainbow Randolph lost one Spar. PL raised by 653.

20) Tares vs. Brolli: Spar
"Taaaaiiiyooookennn!" a voice echoes over the hills of Vegeta. As the world around Tares disappears in a flash of white light, he thinks back to how the hell he got in this situation. I mean, it's not like it was his fault. He was just walking along, minding his own business when the road in front of him exploded, sending Tares sailing into a rock face. After regaining his senses, he found the tall, long-haired Saiya-jin Brolli floating over the crater. Dropping to a defensive stance, Tares shouted, "What the hell do you want?" His attacker just floated there, refusing to answer his question. "Okay fucker. I'll give you one last chance to explain yourself, then you're dead." Again, Brolli ignored him. "Fine," Tares said just before blurring out of view. Reappearing behind Brolli, Tares tossed an energy blast into his back.

After a few seconds, the smoke cleared and Brolli was no where to be found. "Well, that was rather easy. What a weak asshole," Tares said to himself. However, just as he began to go back on his merry way, he heard a soft chuckle from behind him. "Oh, crap," Tares managed to spit out before a knee was firmly planted in the center of his back. Falling to a knee, Tares just barely dodged a kick that would have decapitated him. After rolling forward and springing to his feet, Tares spun around and planted a fist into Brolli's stomach, still wondering what the hell he wanted, then back-handed him away. Brolli climbed back to his feet, then charged, throwing several energy blasts at Tares. Tares countered with blasts of his own, destroying Brolli's before they got to him. However, all this was was a diversion. As Brolli emerged from the smoke, he came to a grinding halt and shouted that word which brought about this flashback.

"Crap, crap, crap," Tares thinks to himself as his vision goes blank. He begins to rub his eyes violently, attempting to make the spots go away. "Fuck me, I'm screwed." A light chuckle fills the air, making Tares begin to punch around blindly, hitting nothing but air. This fills Brolli with laughter. "Chicken shit Saiya-jin," Tares whispers to himself. However, it seems Brolli heard it too, since his laughter dies the second it's said. Tares wakes up a few days later at Raditsu's place with a massive headache....

Notes:
Tares lost one Spar. PL raised by 742.
Brolli won one Spar. PL raised by 4,315.

19) Vegita Ou vs. NPI Tenshinhan: NPI Spar
Vegita Ou has been training with Tien for a few days now. Vegita Ou personally had no problems with Tien except one: every time Vegita Ou would begin to concentrate on training to learn the Ki Akeshi technique, he would find himself staring at Tien's third eye. It drove him insane. "Why does a guy have to have an third eye?" Vegita Ou constantly asked himself. "And its not like it isn't in a noticeable spot. Who puts an eye in the middle of their forehead anyways?"

The Saiya-jin has been losing his mind, and finally one day, today, he couldn't take it anymore. While the three-eyed freak was to busy trying to explain the technique, Vegita Ou crept towards him. Just staring at the eye. As he approached closer he noticed a stick on the ground and picked it up. What happened next you wouldn't believe. He actually poked the stick into Tien's eye. If you hadn't realized it by now Tien grew furious, and with a quick movement of his arm, he smacked Vegita Ou out cold before Vegita Ou had any chance to react.

Notes:
Vegita Ou lost one NPI Spar. PL raised by 200.

18) Tares vs. Brolli: Sneak Battle
Tares had been slinking around all day trying to get the jump on Brolli. He was really getting into the whole acting sneaky bit. Best of all, as far as he was concerned, was the skulking. Tares really liked to skulk. Here it is important to note that he wasn’t really any good at it. Tares is after all, basically a clone of Goku. He’s a bit more intelligent, but still just not very bright and well, acting sneaky just isn’t in the cards for Tares.

I will have to ask that you not tell Tares this though as it would just crush his spirit and he’s been trying oh so hard. I just can’t bear to see the dejected look on his face. But as I am sure you can all guess Tares’ efforts to surprise Brolli fail miserably and he quickly finds himself face to face with his larger, more hostile counterpart.

"So Brolli, what did you think of my surprise attack? Pretty sneaky huh? I’ve been practicing all day. I think I’ve really gotten good at the whole sneaking around thing. So good that I’ve even though about retiring from fighting so that I can concentrate on becoming even more sneaky. I figure that if I can get this good in only a few short hours, just think about how good I can get if I train every day. Pretty impressive, I know, I’m impressed myself."

Brolli just responds with a grunt, not wanting to waste his time with such idle chatter.

"Oh come on Brolli. You don’t have to worry about my ego. I know that I’m good, but I’m not so foolish as to think that I don’t need to keep practicing. I think I’m going to..."

Before Tares can finish his sentence, Brolli is on him and in a grand battle of skill, speed, and strength (note the alliteration with the S’s), a winner is decided. Now let me see here, who wins. Well, the layman might think that it is Brolli’s fight since Tares’ sneak concept failed, and under normal circumstances the layman would be right. However, what you need to realize is that this is no ordinary individual that is writing here. This individual lost any and all grip on reality quite some time ago. And as a result, the true determinator is really the mystical fuzzy dice. Now lets see, where did I put them? Oh yes, over there.

And the winner is... Tares!

Don’t even think to question this outcome. The mystical fuzzy dice are never wrong. All bow down and worship the mystical fuzzy dice. Beg for their forgiveness so that they may overlook your heathen ways that do not include a worshiping of the mystical fuzzy dice.

Notes:
Tares won one Sneak Battle. PL raised by 5,961.
Brolli lost one Sneak Battle. PL raised by 1,009.

17) Vegetto vs. Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph vs. Tapion: FFA Spar
The sun is slowly setting and on a small Island in the middle of no where, Master Roshi has fallen asleep while reading one of his many magazines. The trees sway as a small breeze blows past the quiet island and a man on a cloud zooms around seemingly doing nothing. "WHERE IS IT??" Tapion frustratedly yelled as he continued his search for the secret hiding place of Roshi's Staff... On another part of the island, Videl and Rainbow Randolph are hanging out doing nothing. "I'm bored," RR eventually says.
"Me too," replies Videl. "Perhaps we should do something.." Videl suggests.
"How about we find someone to fight?" RR thinks outloud.
"Good Idea RR," Videl says as she takes off in search of someone to fight, while momentarily RR thinks "Did I actually say that??" before taking off after Videl. Unfortunately for Tapion, he was all that they could find in their impatient search. "TAPION!!" yelled Videl as she caught up with him. As he stopped Videl continued flying and smacked him one in the face. "That should get him to join in," Videl said quietly to herself as Tapion stood up, faced her, and cupping his hands together, called out "KA...ME...HA...ME..HAAAAAA!!!!" A bright beam of blue light flew from his hands burning off one whole side of Videl's hair as it barely missed her. The beam continued to fly out into the night fading away without hitting a thing....

On the other side of the island, Vegetto first hears the fight and then sees the Kamehameha fly off into the distance and desides to check out the battle. When he arrives its a two on one as Videl and RR have brought Tapion down to the ground and are beating the living crap out of him. Videl occupies Tapion as RR attacks from behind. Vegetto desides then and there that this is not right and has to join in the fight. With his power pole in hand, Vegetto rushes the fighting threesome and to Videl's complete and utter surprise whacks her upside of the head with the power pole sending her flying away just as RR gets the final blow in on Tapion and he falls slowly to the ground... Unconscious... At this point RR's eyes meet Vegetto's and absolute fear shows on RR's face as he trys to fly away. It's no good though because Vegetto is just too fast grabbing RR by the leg as he leaves the ground.

Vegetto starts to laugh as RR struggles to try and escape his grip. Frustrated with Vegetto's strength advantage, RR fires off an Energy Blast in Vegetto's direction missing by miles. Not 100% impressed by RR's attack, Vegetto breaks out in a fit of laughter as he starts to spin around... Faster and Faster... Letting RR go so that he would crash into and through a couple of the bigger trees on the island, finally knocking him out when a coconut fell onto RRs dazed head...

By this time Videl picked herself up out of the water and started to rub her head... "HEY!!" she yelled.
"Yeah?" Vegetto said as he dusted off his hands having finished off RR.
"That was my pal."
"So?"
"SO??.... TAIYOKEN!!"
A blinding light exploded from Videl's hands giving her a chance to really hurt Vegetto while he didn't know where she was. So she kicked him hard in the chest knocking him back and into the sleeping Master Roshi. Master Roshi was not at all pleased at being woken up and walked off into his house. Videl took this opportunity to get Vegetto while he was still getting up, punching him in the head and torso making him whince as Master Roshi came back out of his house with staff in hand... Videl, again bing knocked upside of the head, fell to the ground in pain for just enough time for Vegetto to overcome the effects of the Taiyoken. Master Roshi left as both fighters got up again to brawl. Punch after punch, kick after kick, the pair raced around the island destroying eveything but the house. As Videl started to tire, Vegetto decided it was time to stop playing and put her out of his misery. With two Quick punches to the torso and head, Videl was flat on the floor just as the moon started to rise.

Notes:
Vegetto defeated Rainbow Randolph and Videl. PL raised by 3,401.
Videl was defeated by Vegetto. PL raised by 768.
Rainbow Randolph defeated Tapion, but was defeated by Vegetto. PL raised by 2,705.
Tapion was defeated by Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 139.

16) Android 18 vs. the Yardartians: NPI Spar
Days and days have passed since 18 began her training under the Yardartians. Mastering Shunkan Idou was one of the hardest tasks for any warrior to take on, but 18 was unyielding in her training. Everyday she would go to the Yardart temple and practice the Shunkan Idou training exercise. At the temple, she was monitored by one of the elders in her training. The temple elder was quite old and like all aging masters had gained the "Trait." This was also the first time he had seen a human (Android replica) woman. Unlike the Yardartian females, with their rather rough exoskeletons and faint odors of Parmesan cheese, Android 18 had soft skin and smelled like fresh flowers. The Elder took note of this and every time that he could think of an excuse to get close to 18, he did. With each day of 18’s training, the elder grew more obsessed with her till one day he made his move. He was going to put the moves on 18.

He started by covering himself with mustard and raspberries. He then put on his best tribal mating cloth he had (a shiny metal jockstrap). Once he was prepared, the elder crept in on 18 as she was mediatating alone in the temple. The elder let out a deep toad like screech. 18 was shocked at the sight of the elder and had no idea what was going on. The elder grinned and began to cluck like a chicken, while doing what appeared to be a bad disco dance. He began to make his way over to 18, who was confused by the acts. When the elder got close enough he opened up his mouth, his tongue rolled out, his pupils rolled back into his skull, and he began to moo like a cow. This was the facial sign language of the Yardartian’s for love, but 18 was scared shitless by this display and went into self defense mode. A loud scream was heard from the temple, an even louder boom sound followed. Android 18 had knuckled the Yardartian elder and he was on the floor knocked out, with a large throbbing bump hanging off his head. It took a few days for the Yardartians to explain to 18 what the elder was doing, but it was obvious that nobody else would attempt to court the android from that day on.

Notes:
Android 18 won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,323.

15) Brolli vs. Tares: Spar
Notes:
Brolli won one Spar. PL raised by 1,989.
Tares lost one Spar. PL raised by 622.

14) Tapion vs. Master Roshi: NPI Spar
Notes:
Tapion won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,036.

13) Vegetto vs. Fat Buu: Spar
Notes:
Vegetto won one Spar. PL raised by 1,634.
Fat Buu lost one Spar. PL raised by 541.

12) Android 18 vs. Mr. Popo: NPI Spar
Notes:
Android 18 won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 1,114.

11) Brolli vs. Tares: Battle
"Ah, yes. What a beautiful day it is," thought Brolli as he relived the first moment he set foot on Yardart. And there right next to him was Tares, a fellow Saiya-jin. Now these two had been planning to come to the planet for a while now, each wanting to learn Fusion to become an even greater power than each could be on his own. But then came what will forever be known as the day of salami. You see, in the middle of their training run for Fusion, the two sneaky Saiya-jins sat down for some food. And as luck would have it, the Yardartians are EXCELLENT cooks. And what would their specialty be? None other than fried salami sandwiches. (Now everybody knows how big a deal mealtime is to a Saiya-jin. And these two guys aren’t ordinary Saiya-jins either. They’re aggressive as it is. But when FOOD is involved, all bets are off.) The poor Yardartians could NEVER have prepared for what was in store for them. They had never seen a Saiya-jin eat (and since this incident, they didn’t want to again) and so they figured on about 51 salamis. There WERE after all 51 people at the table to celebrate the perfection of the fusion between Brolli and Tares. And once Brollese had spent a full hour testing his abilities, the food was ready to be served.

AND OFF THEY WENT, with Brolli taking the early lead, but Tares very close behind, going at it. Salami for salami, for a good 5 minutes before all that was left in front of them was 49 mystified Yardartians, and one fried salami sandwich with extra anchovies. Now if these two guys weren’t Saiya-jins, or if there were an EVEN number of salamis, or if they weren’t so fond of salami, or if the Yardartians weren’t such good cooks, or if there were no anchovies on that last sandwich, there would never have been a problem. But truth be told, they WERE Saiya-jins. There WEREN’T an even number of salamis. They WERE fond of salamis. The Yardartians ARE good cooks. And there WERE anchovies on that last sandwich. And so it began: The fight over the last salami.

It started as a simple scuffle, with Brolli coming out on top, being the stronger of the two. But Tares quickly took advantage of Brolli’s salamic distraction by throwing a simple energy blast up his wazoo. Now this didn’t sit too well with Brolli. That being the case, he went STRAIGHT after the Goku look-alike with a fierce temper that would make a Tasmanian Devil proud. But Tares stayed just ONE step ahead of Brolli by making use of his Zanzoken technique, laughing all the way. And with both men flying at top speed, Tares was JUST about to make one final comment then scarf the last salami down when Brolli yells "TAIYOKEN!" thus blinding Tares. Now everybody knows that a blind Saiya-jin is a helpless Saiya-jin. And that being the case, Brolli took advantage by knocking Tares into a Yardartian School for Advanced Master Salami External Cookery, knocking him out cold. But, still flying at max speed, salami-in-hand, Brolli failed to see the School for Helpless Individual Training and slammed right into it, knocking himself out in the process.

But what happened to the salami? The Yardartians while, very good cooks have not only a good sense of irony, but also a TERRIBLE sense of humor. So after digging through the rubble of the two schools, they found that one salami. They dusted it off. They took it to the local metal smith. And after a little convincing, had the salami cut in half, bronzed, and attached one to Brolli’s right leg, and one to Tares’ left leg so that they would always remember all the chaos that one silly salami caused.

And the moral of the story??? The 26th salami is always the one that you’ll remember come tomorrow morning.

Notes:
Brolli won one Battle. PL raised by 3,788.
Tares lost one Battle. PL raised by 474.

10) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: NPI Spar
Notes:
Videl won one Spar. PL raised by 436.
Rainbow Randolph lost one Spar. PL raised by 384.

9) Mr. Satan vs. Fat Buu: Spar
Notes:
Mr. Satan won one Spar. PL raised by 1,116.
Fat Buu lost one Spar. PL raised by 471.

8) Bra vs. Mr. Popo: NPI Spar
Notes:
Bra won one NPI Spar. PL raised by 938.

7) Brolli vs. Tares: Spar
Notes:
Brolli defeated Tares. PL raised by 1,649.
Tares was defeated by Brolli. PL raised by 362.

6) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Notes:
Videl defeated Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 328.
Rainbow Randolph was defeated by Videl. PL raised by 284.

5) Mr. Satan vs. Fat Buu: Spar
Notes:
Mr. Satan defeated Fat Buu. PL raised by 1,047.
Fat Buu was defeated by Mr. Satan. PL raised by 346.

4) Tapion vs. Tares: Spar
Notes:
Tapion was defeated by Tares. PL raised by 273.
Tares defeated Tapion. PL raised by 1,050.

3) Videl vs. Rainbow Randolph: Spar
Notes:
Videl defeated Rainbow Randolph. PL raised by 234.
Rainbow Randolph was defeated by Videl. PL raised by 234.

2) Mr. Satan vs. Fat Buu: Spar
Notes:
Mr. Satan defeated Fat Buu. PL raised by 1,000.
Fat Buu was defeated by Mr. Satan. PL raised by 232.

1) Brolli vs. Tares: Spar
Notes:
Brolli defeated Tares. PL raised by 1,000.
Tares was defeated by Brolli. PL raised by 232.